I think the frustration is just as much that I'm feeling like I have to prove everything that doesn't fit exactly with their plans. I have to prove the phone calls I make, the mood effects of all my treatments for the last 5 years, my financial situation...seriously, by the end of this I'm going to be carrying a briefcase full of notes in to every appointment to try to cover every important detail. And that still doesn't cover everything ("You have too many reports of things not working, you need to stop making up symptoms").
At last count, I have dealt with at least 11 different mental health professionals. 6 caused varying sorts of increased problems; at least 3 of those still have long-lasting effects on me. 1 actually did something useful. At what point do I get to decide it's not worth it without being blamed for "not taking care of myself"?!!?You probably know this already and don't particularly want to hear it again, but it sounds like you haven't found the right professional yet.
I'm just tired of this. I'm going in and getting hurt repeatedly, but the minute I take any move to protect myself from the "nice doctors" I'm clearly crazy and need to be cured of it. I'm just trying to take care of myself, but apparently that's not allowed. It's like being a kid again - the grown-ups are free to yell and scream and get mad at you for not doing things you can't do and ignore anything you say, but the minute you say or do anything against them you're a rebellious child that needs to be punished.