World War Z (the film)

[Tebryn]

So first we have to assume they are dead, which breaks every natural law as we know them.

Ya, well I hate to be the one to tell you this but Zombies aren't real so we're going to have to delve into some fantasy here. Most go with the "Undead" because ya know...that's the most common type of zombie. Both mythologically and based on Romero. We'll get to Romero later on since you want to use him to defend your arguments.

Then we have to assume in this reawakened state that they have no immune system, which is fair, and no other bodily functions.

So far so good. This is a fair assumption.

Then we would have to assume this doesn't cause them to develop bodily toxins, the toxins caused by no longer having a functioning bodily system. Which normally happens for a still moving body with disabled intestines; because, just because.

And this is where you start to break down. Why would we have to assume that? The body isn't functioning for the most part in the typical zombie. Bodies rot when they're not alive. Zombies are not alive. They rot. What ever is animating them non-withstanding. Romero went with "The Brain" or ya know "When there is no more room in Hell" explanation.

This would take care of all natural predators in for of insects and bacteria. After all that, assuming zombies have any less of an immune system than ours, provided they are dead, which already are beyond magical, that they are eaten away at near impossible speed, so fast that they can't infect others at all.

Well, since your third assumption is based on...I don't even know...this doesn't exactly follow. Humans body rot when they're dead

When we have assumed all of this nonsense, we have to assume that the incests and bacteria would at all react to this new phenomenon, although we know it have taken millions of years for them to adapt to eating what they eat now and that zombies are completely outside the category of everything.

Again, you're the one making the assumption. That's cool and all but you're not arguing with anyone here. You're demanding we make assumptions that we don't have to make or make at all.

Then we have to assume that the virus, especially designed or evolved to do this task has not, at all, evolved to take care of insects and bacteria to survive, which is the case with many viruses.

Wanna name one?

Then we would have to assume insects eat the corpse at superhuman (super-insect) speed, as it takes alot more 20 days ca. for insects to devour a human corpse normally. Far to slow, if it were to prevent the zombies from spreading.

No we wouldn't. Twenty days is long enough to hole up somewhere with supplies and wait for the wandering dead to fall apart while the insects rejoice at the all you can eat buffet.

Also, why do you assume zombies, when they are turned, suddenly drops all their cloth and freeze to death and/or lose all body warmth.

We don't. Again. You're telling us we're assuming things our arguments aren't. Have you ever -been- to Phoenix? I actually live in Arizona and I can tell you it doesn't matter if you're wearing clothing or not. Phoenix is REALLY REALLY HOT. Try standing around in downtown Phoenix for a few hours without drinking anything. You're going to be in a really bad state. If the zombie is a living thing, it's actually worse. Because if they follow the rules of living things, they're going to dehydrate swiftly. Running around and sweating does that for you.

As for losing body heat...yes. Dead bodies lose body heat. Doesn't matter if you're wrapped up tighter than a hot dog at a Fat Camp. Clothing is for insulation for the most part after all. Having lived in the mountains and areas that get lake effect snow as well...being caught out in a blizzard even in nice heavy clothing isn't going to do much for you. By the end of being in a blizzard, you're wet and freezing. That's bad news for a zombie living or undead. Living zombies are going to sucumb to hypothermia rather swiftly.

Also, it could be very likely that half humanity is already infected, as per the very real Toxoplasma gondii parasite which actually affects approximately 50% of all human, and affect human and animal behaviour.

I don't know where you're getting those numbers but it's not the CDC or the WHO. Because they count it at an estimation of about 1/3rd the human population. While you're correct that Toxo has been linked to depression, schizophrenia OCD and even Brain Cancer the research is still out and being conducted to this day. So saying "It actually etc" when we still don't know with a shadow of a doubt...ya.

Not to mention that a generally healthy human being with a strong immune system can live with Toxo with no real health impact what so ever.

Also that a couple of weeks would be enough. After all, a Canadian scientist's study have shown it would take zombies 28 days to exterminate/spread the virus to 95% of humanity. Although the accuracy of this, too, is very doubtfully. (This later came to inspire the name of an movie and its sequal).

Ya, dubious scientific studies really don't cut the mustard.

Basically, for any of cracked's theories to be true we'd have to assume zombies breaks all laws of nature, in which case we cannot assume anything. Cracked are for crackhead theories...

Well, Cracked is a Humor Website so taking your scientific information from there as the LAW is a bad idea all over.

Why do we assume biting spreads the disease, when the creator of modern zombies himself (George A. Romeo) said that all humans were already infected.

And here we get to what I mentioned above. Romero (With an R) started with the animated dead Zombie. It's in the title of the first movie. It's in the title of all of Romero's movies. So saying "Well Romero" said while decrying the Undead Zombie archetype as unrealistic is rather silly don't you think? But lets look at what Romero actually says about the Infections in his movie shall we?

Romero's original Night of the Living Dead explains that an unknown phenomenon causes re-animation of the brain. Instead of being spread from person to person, the phenomenon presents itself in any human that has recently died from any cause (except those that destroy the physical structure of the brain). The first animated corpses appear in many locations simultaneously, quickly reaching pandemic levels. Characters speculate about the cause of the phenomenon; suggestions at various times include a spaceborne virus, divine punishment, radiation from a satellite returning from Venus, or that "there's no more room in Hell". While bites from these reanimated creatures are uniformly lethal, by mechanics unknown, death by other means would have the same result, so a bite is not necessary. It is suggested in Day of the Dead that the immediate amputation of bitten limbs may prevent victims from dying, but while the treatment is attempted, its success is never conclusively demonstrated. In George Romero's original Day of the Dead idea, a person was to have his bitten arm amputated, but still return as a zombie. Survival of the Dead shows that, in the rare instance of a living person biting the undead, that person will become infected. Many characters in films (including George Romero himself) have referred to the bitten area as the "infected area" or "infection".

So unless you've got a source that has evidence against ya know...the films themselves then Romero actually never has come out saying what it is over all. It's even odder considering that none of Romero's movies are sequels so him quantifying -every- zombie move he's ever made into a single reason...well...it seems unlikely to me without a source.


As for the biting...that's the common Zombie transmission system. It's not realistic. But hey, neither are zombies so what are you going to do?

Which would either suggest a airbourne disease or a parasite like Toxoplasma gondii.

It would, if the entire world was infected. That raises some questions in and of itself however. Like how we never noticed before the Zombie Apocolypse. The "Whole World is Infected" idea is even more laughable than undead Zombies. How long have people been infected? Like a week? Because doctors are going to start noticing when -every- one of their patiants start popping up with a strange infection or parasite that they've never seen before. It would make the news. It would be the -biggest- news other than Aliens coming down to Earth en mass or some religious event.

Also, I have to remind you that the zombie is not the predator, but the disease/parasite/whatever is the predator. And the zombie might mearly be a way to spread the host or speed up the infection process.

No, I don't think you understand. We, the humans, are the predators. We're the predators of zombies. We're also their food source. Parasite or not. We're what the Infection needs, healthy humans. We're also the main source of competition against the virus. The analogy Cracked used was rather apt. It'd be like fighting a lion every time you want a hamburger. We are better organized, more intelligent and better armed than the average zombie.



So, in summation. You said half the Cracked Article was "Bogus" or "Wrong". So from a realistic, still living zombie outbreak level would you mind going through the seven points and explain how they're "Bogus"? Keeping in mind however that the Cracked article isn't about "Realistic" zombies at all well. They're going off the Romero, shambling dead zombies.

1. Natural Predators

2. They Can't Take the Heat

3. They Can't Take the Cold

4. Biting is a Terrible Way to Spread Disease

5. They Can't Heal from Day to Day Damage

6. The Landscape is full of Zombie Proof Barriers

7. Weapons and the People who Use them