The first rule of optimizing the Monk is to play a Swordsage.
After that... Well it really comes down to being str focus and "dipping" monk and/or going into 1 or more PrCs .
In all honesty it is just easier (and less expensive) to go into Swordsage from Tome of Battle.
Edit: See... Swordsage is so awesome that it used to be called "Ninja'ed" and now it is called "Swordsaged".