Illven was only gone for a year or so, he gave her attention. (Illven may be an inept parent, but not a terrible one.) If Illven stayed for Fe 6 it would start to affect Damian, Alex, and Abby possibly.
That would be an interesting reading of it, but unfortunately I have to word of god that Melinda's correct (She may be over-thinking how much influence she has however) Because I do have basic backstories for the other three children and Melinda's power did influence things.