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I feel bad for even having this problem; it's not a problem enough people are able to have, I think. I just got done with interviews for the only graduate school that gave me an interview. None of the others even formally rejected me.

I'm reasonably certain I blew them all beyond recoverability. Forget not accepted; I figure I'm being laughed about.

Almost certainly, this ran in tandem with a little blurb I saw of my letter of recommendation (it was on a screen) that highlighted something or other about my social skills.

As I do not have social skills, I am reasonably certain it was not positive.

So just...yeah. It feels like I wasted my time, and worse the university's, by going through with something I'm incapable of doing and probably massively unqualified even to try. Everyone else interviewing is amazingly pretty, fascinating, erudite, and accomplished beyond belief, and here I am still in undergraduate and the best I can lay claim to is a publication in progress. I don't run marathons and I was never a Marine and I can't speak French and I don't play alt rock and...I'm not pretty enough. Forget smart enough, everyone here is smart enough. I'm just smart enough; I'm nothing else enough.

Now I'm just sitting here, feeling sorry for myself, wondering what to do with my life when (in my mind, it is always "when") I get rejected, because clearly I don't have the people skills for industry and I'm nowhere near competitive in academia. I just feel like everyone else in the world, or at least the majority of the ones who ended up here, somehow understands how people work, how to talk to them, how to end up with an unwrinkled suit and perfect skin and friends and self-esteem...and somehow I'm left out of the loop, way out in left field being nothing anyone expects or needs or wants, and I have no idea what I'm even doing wrong, just watching everyone else be perfect.

And here I am, whinging on about squandering an opportunity a lot of people never get.

So...:(