It's not as if your male characters don't become universally despised and have people actively wishing for their deaths. It's really a hit-and-miss thing. Just kind of unfortunate that you made both the lawful-to-the-point-of-insanity paladin and pacifist-in-totally-the-wrong-setting female.

I don't think people have taken issue with your portrayal of Haley, per se, more whether she can be counted as leading the OotS (and... well, there's more to that then gender). Only reason it got so much attention is the lack of other female leaders to actually... well, talk about, beyond a hormonal teenaged sorcerer.

Note: In case anyone thinks I'm being hypocritical, I never took issue with Haley's leadership ability, just whether she was actually leading the group. And I have no desire to reignite that discussion.