Personal Woes and Advice 2

[The Succubus]

Urgent! Help would be appreciated!

My friend and I just went to a restaurant. We had some problems with the staff who were making a mess, and when we got out of the restaurant I felt bad about it and, also, that I had eaten a bit too much and I felt like resting for a moment.

My friend said that she wanted to sit on the beach for a while, but I requested that we go home since I wanted to lie down. She didn't like that idea, so I complied with her without any drama or resistance and we sat there on a bench at the beach.

Then we got at her apartment and she got really angry at me. She said that I was being very rude when I had sat there looking grim and I had had my arms crossed. I tried to calm her down and explain that I wasn't feeling all right at the moment. I didn't explain that I have some personal worries too, which I was thinking while we were sitting.
I added that she wanted us to sit on a bench so we sat, now I'm able to rest, and that's all. She didn't like that much and now she's furious.

What to do? I have about one hour to make her calm. Should I apologize that I was so grim while we sat? The thing is that sometimes I sit quietly and I barely say yes or no. She's familiar with my passive episodes since she has known me for years. In my opinion there wasn't anything unusual today...

Okies, let's look at it carefully.

Your friend is annoyed. She's annoyed because of the restaurant and the poor service there, so that's part of the reason she's stressed. She then wants to relax on the beach for a bit but you're not comfortable with the idea, which makes her feel like she's badgering you into something you don't want to do.

When you do go to the beach, you're very quiet. Now she could read this as being one of your quiet episodes or she could also see it (perhaps incorrectly) as you sulking the whole time, marring the enjoyment she was getting, in what could be perceived as an act of spite. In short, I can see why she might be annoyed at being frozen out.



The best thing you could do right now is open up to her. While it's noble for you to not want to trouble her with your issues, she is your friend. Explain why you've been so distant this evening. Apologies are good but people like reasons and explanations as well. Ask her for some advice as well and maybe have another evening together when you're feeling up to it.

Good luck.