Quote Originally Posted by Astrella View Post
Mew. I have to tell my parents soon (in the next few days because they're expecting grades) that I basically failed the majority of my last two years at uni. I'm absolutely terrified cause they'll be furious and I'm afraid they won't see dysphoria and my anxiety and depression as a valid enough reason and that it'll actually revert whatever progress there's been with them accepting me being trans* to a degree. I'm also just really unsure how to approach it.

And I've just been having small panic attacks and depressive spells. :/
First of all, I'd like you to take a few breaths, hun. Do the breathing exercise I taught you.

1) Now, focus on yourself. Focus on what you want. You want to pass university and work towards that. That's what your parents need to hear.

2) Meet with them in a neutral place. Not your dorms and not their house. If you go to their house, you will feel trapped and intimidated. If you do it at your dorms, they might not respect the fact that it's your private space.

3) Meet with them at a restaurant or coffee place. Somewhere both neutral and public. With other eyes on them and you, all parties will be more inclined toward self control, if only for the sake of appearence.

4) Be clear and firm. Avoid things like "I would like to finish university at my dorms" - instead "I will finish university at my dorms."

5) Your folks will initially be angry. Let them be angry. Let them get it out of their system without interruption or protest. Once you're given a chance to explain, tell them without feeling sorry or afraid. Become detached.

6) If possible, bring a letter from your therapist as proof that you've been seeing them for help with your various problems.

7) Type out a letter that has all the information and explanation you want to give them. Make it as simple to read as possible. If the discussion is not going to be productive, leave the letter on the table for them to read and then leave yourself.

8) I'll send this one to you on Skype as it has sensitive information in it.