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Thread: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting

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    Halfling in the Playground
     
    mebecronck's Avatar

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    Mar 2012
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    Default Re: D&D Snippets II: The Snippetting

    Alright, I need to stretch out my writing muscles. So, here is a little short that I been messing around with in my head. It might be a bit messy, but I hope you like it.

    Spoiler: The Modern Bard: Advent Villain
    Show

    I have been investigating every lead for months and have run into nothing but dead ends. I haven't heard anything back from Thazar or his friend. The colder the trail gets, the less likely I will ever find my target, and this trail is freezing.

    "Meow." Lucky gets up from her bed and follows me as I walk into the living room. My place is practically empty. I just have a desk, a television, a folding chair, a mattress, and a pillow that functions as Lucky's cat bed. No decorations like posters or photos. No plates and glasses for company. I don't even keep my tools for my trade here. I keep that in "The Office".

    My home serves as a place where I can unwind, and I can't unwind in clutter.

    "Meow."

    "What" I ask in a low voice. I haven't been taking good care of myself lately. Every waking hour has been spent chasing down every thread I can pick up. No matter how thin.

    "MEOW!"

    "Fine, fine. What do you want."

    "Meow."

    "I know we are running out of money."

    "Meow."

    "I know I need to take a job."

    "Meow."

    "I know I need to sleep. I got an idea. How about you stop telling me things I already know!" I throw the folding chair across the room to add literal impact with my words.

    "... Meow." Lucky takes a seat on top of the TV starts batting her paw at the screen. The room is so quiet I can hear the static buildup releasing from her touch.

    "You're right. I need to rest." I lean against the wall and slump down. "I'm not angry at you. I'm just frustrated."

    "Meow."

    "I'm sorry." I pause for a moment to gather my thoughts. "I'll get some rest and tomorrow I will pick up some work. I'll leave this whole mess behind me."

    Lucky jumps down from the TV and accidentally hits the power button when she lands on the floor. The screen flickers to life revealing an anchorman sitting behind a desk reading an urgent report.

    "Well this should put me to sleep," I say with a laugh as Lucky curls up in my lap.

    *****

    "... armed gunmen invaded the House of Representatives and opened fire while The House was in session. It is unknown how many are injured or dead. We reached out to the Speaker of ..."

    The screen flickers and the audio cuts out. Slowly the image of the news report fades to reveal the image of someone in a mask. The mask is divided black and white. The left half is completely black and the right half is white with a black crescent smile and a black almond shaped eye. A hood hides the rest of the person's features.

    "Hello, friends." The voice is deep, masculine. He says the words slowly, as if he wants there meaning to have incredible weight. The camera sways slightly as he speaks, but stays close on his face, as if he is recording himself. "We are friends, right? I think we are, because I'm trying to help you."

    "I'm sure you are wondering about what happened, and the why's and how's. Well, that is what I'm here helping you understand. You see, I sent some of my friends ... with guns ... to D.C. and told them to attack The House. You see, they thought they were all safe and sound with all their security and guards and everything. The problem there is that, the threat of death is only an effective deterrent when dying is not already part of the plan."

    "Do you understand?"

    "It really isn't that hard to understand. My friends went in ready to die. The plan was to kill as many as they can first."

    "See. I'm helping you already." He laughs softly for a moment. "Now you know how it happened." The camera moves away from the mask and shows nothing but darkness. Feedback in the audio suggests that something is hitting the receiver.

    The camera pans back to the mask a moment later and he says, "How did I get so many people willing to die in this mission?" The camera is now steady and the man in the mask is further away from it, revealing that he is dressed in a dark hooded robe. "It was really simple. I told them the truth."

    "The truth is that no one in government does anything about anything until it impacts them. I'm sure you all know how gun control is so hot button lately. They use it for elections, and I used it to gather an army. I told them THE TRUTH!" He holds both hands in the air and spins around once while laughing loudly.

    "I gathered people who had loved ones ... friends, family, neighbors ... that died because of guns, and told them ..." He pauses and looks over to his right.

    "I want to introduce you to my new friend. Won't you come with and give him a warm welcome." He walks over to his right and the camera follows him close behind. After walking down some stairs the camera reveals a man tied up and gagged in a chair that is turned over on its side. He is struggling hard against his bindings and trying to scream through the gag. His eyes follow the masked man. They are open wide and his pupils are so dilated that you can't see the color.

    "I picked up my new friend in the confusion of the attack. He is one of the lobbyists for the N.R.A. and has done a fine job at it, too." The masked man rubs his gloved hands through the hair of man tied up in the chair. He then grabs hold of the mans head and lifts him and the chair back to an upright position. The bound man screams through his gag in pain as he is lifted.

    "They have a little slogan." The mask man walks off camera. While he is away the camera pans in close to the gagged man's face. "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." The man's eyes open wider. "I have to agree with them on that." His muffled screams become more panicked. "Guns are just tools, used by people." His struggling becomes more violent. "Without a person to hold it a gun can't kill anyone." The man closes his eyes tight and tears trickle down his cheeks. Everything becomes silent except for the sobs of the bound man. The silence is shattered by gunshot and muzzle flash. A burst of red emits from the side of the man's head and he slumps forward silent and still.

    "Guns don't kill people, but they do make it easier." The camera pans to the masked man holding a revolver, smoke streams from the tip of the barrel. The masked man faces the camera. "Now everyone in Congress is a victim of gun violence. This means they are now properly motivated to do something about it."

    He lowers his gun and moves in close to the camera. "There is no need to thank me. I am your friend, and I have done this to help you. Because I care."

    "You're welcome."

    The camera then cuts out and the news report replaces it.

    "We are sorry for this ..."

    *****

    "Meow." Lucky stands up in my lap and places her front paws on my chest.

    "What do you want me to do about it?" A public execution on TV is rare in the U.S. but sadly all too common in other parts of the world where I have conducted business. What happened is surely surprising, but didn't draw my attention any more than a mild curiosity.

    "Meow."

    "I'm not getting paid to chase him down, and last I checked, we are out of cat food and ramen."

    "Meow." This time she adds emphasis by digging her claws into my chest.

    "Hng. Alright, I will look into it." I submitted more easily than normal. "After I get some sleep. Is that okay with you, Princess Lucky?"

    "Purr." She curls back up in my lap and goes to sleep. Sometimes I wonder who is really in charge here.


    I just have to share this with you guys. I just saw a funny picture of a restaurant menu which shows "Stupid Questions - $0.38" and immediately two scenarios popped into my mind. So what follows is two different exchanges between a customer and a waiter. I shared it with the people on the forum I found it in, but anyway without further ado.

    Spoiler
    Show

    “Why is it thirty-eight cents?”

    “That will be thirty-eight cents.”

    “Wait! Are you charging me already?”

    “That will be seventy-six cents.”

    “How is that a stupid question?”

    “That will be one dollar and fourteen cents.”

    “But, I …”

    “…”

    (Sigh)“Is the sales tax included?”

    “That will be one dollar and …”

    “Nevermind. Here’s five dollars. Keep the change.”

    (Another route)

    “How do you charge people for stupid questions?”

    “That will be thirty-eight cents.”

    “Wait a second. I’m being charged for asking stupid questions. That doesn’t make sense. It is a menu item. When I ask for the coleslaw, you give me the coleslaw and I give you money. So, why are you charging me when I’m giving you the stupid question?”

    “Alright, sir. Would you like to order the stupid question?”

    “Sure. I’m curious to find out what I get for thirty-eight cents.”

    “Why would you pay someone thirty-eight cents to hear them ask a question?”

    “…”

    “That will be thirty-eight cents.”


    @DrBwaa

    Critiques
    Spoiler
    Show

    He's young; no older than I am, but his face bears prominent traces of the sun and the sword.
    I can't decide if you are saying that he has a tattoo on his face or if his face is sunburned and scarred.

    If the man Clearly, there are elements at work here that I know nothing about,
    Huh?

    Is the man named Clearly? Did you forget the period after "man"? I don't think it is the latter, because "If the man" is not a sentence.

    I'm just confused here.

    the only way to get answers is to ask questions.
    I hear torture works wonders, too. Then you can form the questions as commands.

    That's as good a confirmation of my own thoughts as I'm likely to find anywhere.
    Well, you could ask, "What makes him despicable?" If he says that he is always saying it is rabbit season when it is clearly duck season, then I think everything will turn out fine. We might even get a good laugh.

    I wonder for only a moment longer who this scarred man is,
    Okay, now I know.

    He rises with surprising speed for someone with such a languorous approach to conversation.
    Speak softly, and take long strides like an Ent.

    It occurs to me briefly that this could be a trap.
    Has not Admiral Ackbar taught you anything! You bring shame to the Rebel Alliance!

    All at once, he stops short.
    Something about these two phrases used in unison just doesn't sound right. Although, I can't explain it. "All at once" just has a feeling of energy to it, but "he stops short" gives it a sense of anti-climax and it all happens in such rapid succession.

    Did that make sense? It's the best I can do to explain it. I know it isn't much, but it does bother me when I read it.

    lit only by stray fire- and starlight.
    I don't think that hyphen is supposed to be there.

    In an instant, he raises a loaded crossbow, points it at my head, and fires.
    "There was a sound of thunder." Oh, wait. Wrong story.

    It's very good. I enjoyed it. I do apologize for taking so long to critique it. You know how the holidays get, and it can take a while to recover from it.
    Last edited by mebecronck; 2014-01-13 at 07:59 PM. Reason: Decided it was unnecessary to add a disclaimer to my writing

    Some of Murphy's other laws.
    "Professionals are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs."
    "No plan survives the first contact intact."
    "If it's stupid, but it works, it isn't stupid."
    -Capt. Edward A. Murphy-
    Newton's Law of the Road
    "The object with more mass has the right-of-way."