Relationship Woes and Advice 25: Now with extra Valentine

[Themrys]

I have to say, I absolutely love that in people I spend time with. Allows me to expand my horizons, understand different viewpoints, creates an engaging basis for conversation and ensure we'll never run out of things to talk about while also paradoxically giving us something shared (the disagreements) that gives us a reason to be together. But my view of good interpersonal relationships might be somewhat unorthodox so of course, there's no reason to try and agree with me unless you already do so. All I know is, I find relationships where we agree with everything horribly boring what comes to engaging discussion and eventually we'll run out of topics we share an interest in that we can talk about in an engaging manner.

As an example, I currently have something of a problem with one of my (non-romantic) friends, who often asks me to just talk with her (she's the type that relishes in deep discussions) but after trading regards we can only talk about some topic that has only recently become relevant (and since she doesn't care about politics nor about many fields of science, newly relevant stuff is rare); everything else we've already talked through so thoroughly (and agreed about almost everything) that we simply have no reason to talk about them anymore. We know each others' opinions extremely well, much because we share so many of them, so we just haven't really had anything to talk about for a long while. Which is a real pity because talking with her about something substantial she's interested in is a blast. If we only had disagreements, we could actually argue and adjust our viewpoints but our thinking is too similar.

You are a very strange person. I have a best friend with whom I agree on everything, and I like it that way. We talk less than we did at the beginning of our friendship, but that's okay.

Of course, there are differing opinions and there are differing opinions. I just say that if I hate a book because it's misogynistic, and the person I'm talking to does not think misogyny is even an existing problem and hates the book because the BDSM is not hardcore enough, then this person is not likely to become my friend.

@Amaril: I think it depends. I like shy people because I'm shy myself. Too much confidence scares me.
Then there are people who will look at a shy/nervous person the same way they would look at a little kitten, and think "aww, isn't it cutesy?" - and I think those people are the real problem.