Thanks for the book geek answers, people. Seems like my best bet is, whenever I see a cute person, to whip out a book and start reading. That'll give results!
Off the top of my head, there are the following reasons someone might be attracted to shy people:
- They see shy people as cutesy-adorable kittens.
- They are shy themselves and just prefer a similar temperament in their partner.
- They have low confidence themselves and want a non-threatening partner (not the same as above).
- They are abusive pieces of crap looking for someone with low confidence who'll be an easy victim.
- They are non-shy and looking for someone to balance them out. An anti-MPDG, if you will.
- By some quirk of fate or upbringing, they've found themselves with an unexplained attraction to shyness independent of the above.
Some are problematic, but there are genuine, non-harmful reasons one might be attracted to shyness. I still tend to be iffy when I meet them, though. In my experience, most fall in category (1) or (3). I used to side-eye the (5) I know pretty hard, but he's getting married to a nice girl this summer, so...
Also, just to note: When people talk about confidence, they usually conflate it with extroversion. Which is not the same thing. It's just about being assured in yourself, not having anything to prove, and just generally being pleasant to be around (aka, not exuding nervousness at every corner). There's no need to go for "party lion" status
That's not strange. I operate in much the same way as Eldariel. Not that I want people to always be contrary (I have a friend like that, and it's exhausting). But if you meet someone who shares most of your core values, but disagrees on application or details, and who notices different things, and who can challenge (and thus help you change or strengthen) your opinions and beliefs... in my opinion, you've struck friend gold.
Though yeah, especially when it comes to polarizing issues (like feminism), it's nice to have that one friend where you can just lean back and go "UGH, Fifty Shades of Grey!", and they'll completely know what you mean. Sometimes you do need a break.