Things I'm Not Allowed To Do While Gaming

[Jade_Tarem]

1240: Not allowed to impersonate an IRS agent to infiltrate a camp in the middle of nowhere.
1241: Not allowed to complain when the successful IRS bluff produces murderous desires in the target.
1242: Not allowed to switch to publisher's clearing house agent when the IRS bluff falls through.
1243: Not allowed to bribe the soldiers with a poorly forged check when there's no bank for a hundred miles in any direction.
1244: There is no XP for burning a wicker dragon.
1245: There is, apparently, an auto-pickpocket mode on some kender models.
1246: While not forbidden, appealing to the fanatical black dragon's scrupulous sense of fair play is... unwise.
1247: Closing your eyes and opening them will not make the monster go away.
1248: The zombie routine never works.
1249: Oi! Is not sufficient apology for burning the camp to the ground.
1250: The temple is not dragonproof.
1251: There are no compromises concerning Otiluke's Resilient Sphere.
1252: Not allowed to attack the darkness, especially if the only thing in the darkness is a PC.
1253: Not allowed to burst out laughing when I see the gazebo.
1254: Not allowed to have the the battle cry "Kazam! Wait... hit the Deck!"
1255: Not allowed to take credit for bringing the gods back into the universe after having done everything possible to prevent it.
1256: Not allowed to hijack the role of the plot-critical NPC.
1257: Setting a readied action to shoot what comes out of the well will not help if there is no longer a well.
1258: The warchanter in full plate will not out-grace the wizard or the rogue.
1259: Explosive enemies do not make good cushions.
1260: There is a fine line between taking it and taking them.
1261: Not allowed to Phantasmal Killer a PC for "failing to get eaten properly."
1262: May not say "BOOM! Headshot!" after using the wand of lightning.
1263: Shaking hands while under the effect of shocking grasp isn't a "joy buzzer" prank... it's homicide.
1263a: Although it was pretty funny.
1264: Looting the temple of the goddess you just resurrected is not the smart thing to do.