So You Want To Kill A Goblin (Fluff)

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The Enemy

Stinking Cowardly Wolf-Monkeys

Goblins are built differently from most humanoids. Their flat faces have a broad nose, with large nostrils its chief discernible feature. The characteristic wide mouth and protruding fangs conceal advanced dentition that can contend with extremely tough plant matter, bone and sinew. Goblins have longer arms than most other humanoids, roughly equivalent to the length of a forearm again beyond that of a human arm, adjusted for size. These arms hang down almost to the kneecap even when the goblin stands upright; however, goblins are usually hunched over or squatting, bringing their arms closer to the ground to aid in movement and stealth. Goblin movement is at once coarse and startlingly fluid, as fast as a human despite the shorter gait.

In terms of size, goblins rest between gnomes and halflings, though they are closer to the former. Goblins stand between three and three and a half feet in height (2'10" + 2d4") and weigh roughly 40-45 lbs. Males and females are of similar size. Goblin skin tones are predicated on phytopigments in their diet, and range from pale yellows through to deep reds. Green is not a normal goblin skin tone. This pigmentation also affects their eyes, which appear dull and glazed but run the same gamut of colors. Goblins have broad, pointed ears and coarse, matted hair (usually black).

And Gallantly He Chickened Out

Goblins have a particularly downtrodden reputation among both ally and foe races. Often derided as being stupid, weak and cowardly, goblins will cheerfully own up to the latter two. However, goblins are just as intelligent as dwarves, elves and humans; what they lack is not common sense or intellect, but rather appreciation for large-scale strategic planning. Oh yes, also bravery. That noise is for suckers.

Goblins find the proud races (humans, elves, dwarves and the like) to be not just ugly (you've got lumps sticking out of the middle of your faces!) but also incredibly foolish. For while humans venerate any number of gods who demand service to a higher cause, and dwarves were fathered by a proud god who will call the fallen warriors to his great hall, and elves by a god who prizes the works of civilization above the people that made them, goblins are the creations of Maglubiyet, god of caution and suspicion. The Fire-Eyed God may carry "Battle Lord" as an epithet, but he has no use nor place for fools who let the blood he gave them spill at the hands of an obviously superior enemy. While Gruumsh and Vaprak and Annam strove to best one another with creations ever larger and stronger, the father of goblinkind worked his cunning, investing nothing of himself into his creations save his caution; granting them no power individually, that they might be claimed by other deities, but keeping them subservient to himself. Goblins have no word for cowardice, since the term implies that there was a better option than saving one's own hide. Any plan that calls, even in the abstract, for the clear risking or loss of life that might very well be one's own - well, that's a bad plan.

Goblins may have no head for strategy, in the sense of an overarching plan of action for approaching a goal; what they do have, however, is a keen head for tactics. Goblins possess a downright nasty cunning and ingenuity; they understand how to exploit their size and numbers to ensure that they're never caught in a fair fight. It's hard to outthink goblins simply because they know you know their methods - but they're just so straightforward that it's hard to deal with them.

I Love The Way Your Foul Little Mind Works

The mind of a goblin is wired for caution and suspicion; however, though they're legendary cowards in combat, they have no more predilection to fear than most other humanoids. Goblins will walk unfazed through a camp bristling with slavering worgs and dreadful bonedrinkers without giving them a second thought. The flight impulse that keeps a goblin's skin intact is something they understand to a malicious degree; goblins enjoy and make great use of psychological warfare to weaken and break foes. War drums keep villages awake and on edge, waiting for a goblin attack that never comes. A handful of scouts making their presence known can cause paranoia in small settlements. A goblin is just as swift as a human, orc or elf and can easily outpace even lightly-armored dwarves, gnomes and halflings; this speed is instrumental in fleeing from dangerous situations to regroup and strike again, and also useful for kiting foes with javelins.

When it comes time to attack, goblins push every advantage they can muster. The distrust they have for one another means goblin "formations" are often perimeters and single ranks, side by side to catch potential treachery and spot any possible cue to run off until a better opportunity presents itself. Wickedly stealthy, most goblins can move more quietly than elves if they take the time to get a feel for the terrain, and many can move at effective cross-country speeds while still being all but undetectable to the average humanoid ear. Even trained guard dogs have a difficult time hearing a force of goblins approaching, and enough bands have dealt with the sensitive noses of bugbears to have methods of concealing their smell. The time to fear goblins is the night when everything seems most still and at rest. When nothing disturbs the dark - that is their time, and they will arrive in shadow and silence.

The most infamous assets of a goblin war band are their mounts and guardians, the dreadful worgs. Halfway between normal wolves and their dire cousins in size and strength, worgs are far more fierce, cunning and vile, possessed of an intellect beyond that of normal animals. The allegiance of these unpleasant beasts gives goblins powerful and relentless trackers with a predilection for vicious ambush attacks to use as mounts and to guard settlements. Worgs move somewhat more quietly than goblins, and can carry one or two on their backs without any loss of stealth and mobility. Using their worgs, goblins can engage in blitzkrieg strikes, rushing in with javelins to take down priority targets, then dismounting to let their vicious pets loose as meat shields while the raid and pillage takes place. Goblins can command their worgs to ignore prized prey such as cows and horses for a time in order to prioritize potential threats first.

The goblins' combat playbook is simple, straightforward and easy to predict, but it still sees a lot of success. Why? Because it's awfully hard to deal with superior numbers, superior mobility and practiced stealth when all three are united in one brutal tactic. Those who manage to fight back effectively often find, come morning, that the spoils of their victory are a dead worg or two alongside losses more severe than were paid in kind.

And the goblins will only return.