1366.I am not allowed to use chimestry to make a house fall on the tremere
1367. I am not allowed to use chimestry to re-enact the exploding dildo scene from tank police
1368. as a matter of fact I am not allowed to play a ravenos anymore
1369.I am not allowed to purchase the requisite bureaucracy and transportation influences to drop an actual house on the tremere
1370. even if she does wear red shoes
1371. The Grease spell is not a toy
1372.No one ever wants to see Dancing Tal'Mahe'Ra
1373. I am not allowed to play a character with viscissitude
1374. the oscar mayer weiner song is not a request
1375. the squirrels cannot have dementation
1376. even if you ghoul them
1377. the neonate malkavian cannot be fleshcrafted into a squirrel for the purpose of having a squirrel with dementation
1378. I am never to stick a lasombra and a light source between two mirrors
1379. I am never to wear a mirrored shirt and stand with a flashlight in front of a lasombra at a disco
1380. I am not to shove a flashlight anywhere on or in the lasombra for any reason ever
1381. I am not to shove a lasombra anywhere for any reason ever
1382. as a matter of fact, no more sabbatists
1383 or anarchs
1384 or tremere
1385 reuters hand doesn't do that
1386 there is no such thing as clan porneador
1387 I am not to electroplate any skeletons in excess copper
1388 or to sell copper plated animated skeletons as 'golems'
1389 I am not to craft a bone golem for the purposes of telling the priest of pelor that his god no longer loves him when his turn attempts fail.
1390 there is no such creature as the ethereal felcher
1391 or the astral felcher
1392 the bag of tricks is not to be used for suppository purposes
1393 I am not allowed to have my totem animal be the honey badger
1394 I am not allowed to use searing light in place of detect evil
1395 I am not allowed to use my smite ability with a pillow in place of detect evil
1396 I am not allowed to play palladins anymore
1397 even if they do say jehova
1398 My character's religion cannot be "Jenova's witness" (yes that is spelled correctly)
1399 I cannot play an awakened anything, No mages in white wolf, no animals or plants in d&D, as a matter of fact it might be best if most charatcers spent more time napping.
1400 I am not allowed to use gemcrafting to turn a dbf crystal into any sort of sex toy
1401 Not even for the efreet princess
1402 not even if the DM bought the book of erotic fantasy
1403 I am not to mention that the storyteller owns the book of erotic fantasy
1404 especially in front of the gaming group
1405 or in mixed company
1406 or as a tactic to try to get new players for her campaign
1407 I am not to refer to the the circle of witches as an 'easy bake coven'
1408 nor am I allowed to bake said witches
1409 nor cover them in frosting
1410 I am not allowed to test expressions
1411 no light testing pitch
1412 no checking stone golems for moss
1413 no one is to mention the incident with the coven of witches and the thermometers ever again
1414 I am not to sell the monsters in the dungeon
1415 my response to an adventure in 'the trackless swamps' should not be to take craft mapmaking craft engineering and hire a dwarven road crew
1416 I am not allowed to rename it to the tracked swamps
1417 this goes also for the trackless desert
1418I am not allowed to take a dwarven mining crew and sell the marble dungeon block by block
1419 even if it is in the middle of a swamp and mable is at a premium
1420 I am not allowed to sell the 10ft deep and 200 by 100 ft hole with the nice solid basalt foundation where the marble dungeon used to be
even if land is at a premium in the trackless swamp
1421 I am not allowed to set up "a convenient roadside pit stop" where the keep used to be
1422 I am not allowed to sell maps to the rest stop in the trackless swamp
1423 I am not allowed to sell the monsters
1424 I am not allowed to sell the npcs
1425 I am not allowed to sell slow or unobservant pcs
1426 I am not allowed to sell anything that qualifies as scenery
1427 I am not allowed to hire a bard to write a story about the whole endeavor for the purpose of selling the theme, mood and characters of the adventure "for completeness sake"
1428 I am not to use my hard won team of crack roadbuilders to get lucrative government contracts, nor can I list the trackless swamp in any brochures, ever
1429 I am not to deliberately build roads past particularly thick and ambushy clumps of trees in gnollish territory for purposes coming back later to get exp.
1430 I am not to put a dark altar beneath a crossroads and desecrate it
1431 I am not to arrange for someone's wife to be murdered at the crossroads
1432 I am definitley not to wait at the crossroads for undead to happen
1433 I am certainly not to refer to this process as spawn camping
1434 the evil sacrifice table in the BOVD is not a checklist
1435 The +6 cha +6wis+6 int crown is to be given a suitably impressive name like circlet of eldrich might, not the 'hat of magic power' even if you did make it
1436 a similar rule applies to the +6str +6con +6dex belt of beating people up
1437 under no circumstance should I create the spell "burn elvenhome to the ground"
1438 or any spell that turns positive energy into elemental fire.