Relationship Woes and Advice 25: Now with extra Valentine

[Glass Mouse]

I haven't posted anything on here for years, I think. I mostly just pop in once a week to see if there's a new comic up.

I feel a need to tell my story, but I can't tell it to any of my friends or family, so you guys get to be the audience. I don't know if any advice would help or not, but feel free to give it.

I don't have much advice, but I do have all the sympathy in the world. I'm sorry it happened and that you're hurting, and please find someone to talk to - a professional, a trusted friend, a family member, anyone. No one should grabble that alone.
And dude, it is OKAY to feel and to say "I am furious and hurting, but I do love you and wish you the best, so I'm gonna extricate myself from your lives because this hurts too much". It's okay to feel all those conflicting things, and most listeners will understand that. You don't have to simplify or edit your story when you tell the professional/trusted friend/whomever.

Good wind.

I just worry that such a direct approach, or at least the way I did things might send the wrong message about my intent. What would be a good way to say "I find you attractive and interesting and would like to spend time with you with the possibility of building towards a relationship if everything clicks" that wouldn't be mistaken for "I would like you in my bed tonight"?

Maybe this is just me and my culture being weird, but is there that much difference between "potential friend" and "potential squeezebuddy"? Especially since it sounds like you tend to go for "friendship which might or might not turn into something more".

So why not just go for the friendship? And then have a "three conversations, then evaluate" for yourself - meaning that if no boyfriend has been mentioned in three conversations, and everything clicks, try to go for something more.

Or is your problem that you're not sure how to do the "friendly without playah overtones" thing?

My thoughts exactly. Given how important an issue it is, I don't think it'd be at all inappropriate to bring up right away. My only concern is that given how young we both are, and how intimidating relationship stuff can be for girls her age, she might be uncomfortable with addressing something serious like that, whether or not she should be. Of course, if she is, we shouldn't be dating regardless. So yeah, I guess I'll just do that, thanks.

I'm thinking that a girl who identifies as poly has done enough relationship-thinking to be able to have an honest and open conversation about compability. But maybe that's my unshakable faith in humanity seeping through