Lets Watch: Skyland

[Coidzor]

Spoiler: Episode 5: The Zodipire Strikes Back

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Especially because the Mosquito's are here! Hooray for the Mosquito's! If I knew more about Battlestar Galacta I'd make more jokes about them regarding them but whatever.

Galactica. Do they look like BSG Vipers or Starfuries or whatever they're called to you, or...?

Also it seems that Wyatt is piloting one the Mosquito's. Which is odd, I sort of figured they were automated because...well, we've never seen more crew then Wyatt, Cortez, Dahlia and Cheng, so...I honestly figured they were automated.

Didn't you say that there was someone piloting a mosquito the first time they appeared during the two-parter pilot? And yes, it does sound like the crew is minuscule. Maybe that's why they shrank the pirate ship as a retcon?

Also a question. The pirate ship is called Saint Nazire, or something along those lines. Can anyone figure out what, if anything, that is a reference to? Because I can't tell at all.

Best I can figure is that it's some form of Turkic/Iranian poetry.

Then an air battle happens. Wyatt and the Mosquito's shoot down the CHRONE's pretty effectively. But unfortunately, according to Cheng, the reactor on the escapee's ship is going to explode! The animation and voice acting for this makes it sound like a good thing, when it's clearly not. Welp.

The animation, even? XD What, are they cheering?

At the bar, Cortez asks the bartender for "two more waters, please". As someone who works at a bar...no, that's not how that works. At all. In FRENCH, maybe? But in English, no.

Eh? How so? Here in the States they're just called "water(s)" or "ice water(s)" when ordering in a restaurant or when the waitstaff drops them off.

Anyway, Wyatt reveals (only now) that...maybe this guy isn't actually an escapee. The shuttle's could of attacked him during that entire chase, but they didn't, even though they had ample opportunity too. Wyatt, they're Brigs, I don't think you can just assume incompetence is secretly malevolent.

So now they think it's a trap. Even with the explosm reactor core.

At any rate Cortez agrees, but if he really did escape from Carsen/Cars-in/Karsan (the prison they send Seijuns and other people the Sphere wants silenced forever) he'd be able to bring them to their mother! So that'd be good! More importantly he'd probably be a Seijun, and thus could train Lena into a badass.

She can't just keep getting by on her precociousness forever.

Anyway, the Escapee is telling Mahad and Lena about a sky route that has a constant flucuating storm in it. We've been told maps don't work but maybe this is just a paper version of whatever Vector's cybermap is, or it's specifically a map of what a specific, unmoving area looks like, but where it IS in the world is undetermined unless you have Vector's cybermap. I don't know, either way it sounds sketchy. And we don't even know what it's to be used for yet!

Oh, okay, it's his escape route from the prison. Mahad is like "perfect, that's how I'll get in!" which makes no sense because the storm cloud isn't the prison, it's just what he used to escape the prison...somehow. Okay this makes no sense. Lena then randomly says "What if you're lying!" and I'm like...okay, why are you doing this? Whatever, Mahad brings up a good point for once in his life. The dude jumped from his shuttle trusting they'd be able to catch him, that's gotta count for something.

Obviously coming *out* of the suicidally dangerous death storm is something they'd never expect of someone trying to break into their maximum security prison.

...IT'S PARIS!! Mahad mentions it's a really nice place. Oh you Francophones. Nice to see the Eiffial Tower is still standing somehow. Also I'm going to hazard and guess and say that Paris isn't always this piss yellow and it's just the storm clouds surrounding it. All my joking aside this is actually a really nice sight to see. Anyway, they land and begin exploring.

Paris is the best prison, because no one ever wants to leave, after all.

So, a question. Why is Kharsem here? Last we saw it was just a giant borg cube, what's it doing in the middle of Paris, of all places? They say it's a good place to hide, and due to the storm this is true. But like...it still seems a little out of the way for such an important prison.

Ahh, but remoteness and all of the French pastry and bistros and wine helps make escape all the more difficult.

...our heroes discover they are Brigs.

"No John, You Are The Demons!" XD

The Brigs continue to just sort of stand there. Sansken then...saves them from the Brigs by finding them and leading them to the exit. Ah...alright? Oh, but there Diwan is! It WAS a trap! Diwan points out that they really should of known this was coming given how easy it was to infiltrate what is supposed to be the most secure prison in the world. She has a point.

Brigs have got to be the laziest robots without the intelligence to be lazy ever.

Sansken reveals that, gasp, he was doing this for his children! Now we know what his uninteligable keyphrase babbling when he fell into the Hyperion is all about! Diwan then releases his children and they run to him and hug and yay and stuff.

Wait, the bad guys actually holding to their end of the bargain?

Diwan then tells em all to just get out, and Sansken is like "...how're we getting out I don't have a ship?" and Diwan tells him that's his problem, especially because officially he IS an escapee and wanted by the Sphere. Makes me wonder what, if anything, he actually did.

Oh, the joys of being bad at thinking things through.

That was just... the worst bargain. I mean, why even give such a crappy bargain if they'd actually give him his kids back. Unless... They're not kids, they're actually bombs!

Sansken accepts this. Unfortunately for everyone involved on team villain, after being thrown into a wall, after everyone was distracted by the hostage exchange, Lena and Mahad just...sorta crawled away into an air duct. Score one for the good guys?

I have altered the deal, pray I don't alter the deal further- hey, wait, where did Han slip off to? Guys, you were supposed to be watching the prisoners while I was evil monologuing. Worst. Minions. Ever.

XD

Mahad stealth kills one of the Brig's with an iron pipe after using his boomerang as a distraction. The second Brig then gets killed by the boomerang as it returns. This is actually kind of cool, though seriously my god Sphere make your robots a little less ****, okay? Please?

Indeed, I could accept a magic boomerang, but a pipe in the hands of a punk kid? c'mon. These robots seem to only have one advantage over people and they probably don't actually have that if they're exuding steam errywhere.

What's funny though is that, a Brig reports to Diwan that they found Mahad. So to them, this is a success. Diwan tells all her Brigs to converge on Mahad, while she'll take care of Lena. She's got a grudge, after all. However, since Mahad and Lena are in the same area they're just walking together. Alright. Really makes this scene kind of pointless now doesn't it.

"You guys get that one, I'll get the other one, bye" "Err, they're in the same place, actually." *awkward 5 minute walk in silence*

...Mahad uses the corpses of one of the Brig's to hijack one of the subway trains and uses it to escape the metro tunnel. He also almost runs over Diwan, and slaughters her Brig squad via train. Or at least theoretically, the four or so Brig's with her have vanished and become only a single Brig, who is capable of just not being hit by the train somehow.

Quantum Brigs?

The train is headed for an exit, likely into thin air, so our heroes rush to get out. Mahad...trips over the Brig corpse, and gets his pant leg caught on it's hand. He hits it with his boomerang to get it off but now the boomerang has decided it can't cut metal (and he can't cut the pant leg because these models aren't modifiable).

Oh dear. How zany.

...THE TRAIN FLIES OUT OF THE METRO AND STARTS FALLING. Our heroes hold on for dear life, theoretically seconds away from inevitable death! I say theoretically because assuming they don't land, and assuming the core is something you can't land on, they could just keep falling forever.

In a bottomless pit, you die of starvation/Strong Sad.

...MEANWHILE, with Sansken...he...he's at where the Hyperion landed. And there is a Brig guarding it. Sansken taps the Brig on the shoulder. It turns to face him.

SANSKEN PUNCHES THE BRIG IN THE FACE! WITH HIS HAND! UNCOVERED. The Brig GOES DOWN LIKE A SACK OF LEAD WEIGHTS. SANSKEN JUST PUNCHED OUT A GOD DAMN ROBOT.

I don't care how ****ty the Brig's are, they've been killed only by tech or powers so far. This dude just slugged a robot in the face and it died. That's badass. I hope Sansken is a Seijun so he can actually teach Lena how to do things like this.

Well, they are pretty piddly. Or are you saying that Mahad's iron lead pipe was a use of either tech or power? The more impressive thing is that it didn't scratch his hand in doing so.

...OSLO is here for whatever reason, to greet Mahad and Lena. Mostly Lena. Oslo's animation isn't that good at all here, but his acting is above average as it tends to be. His lines are also creepy as **** knowing that he intends to not only train Lena in her powers, but groom her to be his bride, more or less, because of some silly prophecy which may or may not even exist because only Oslo and Mom have brought it up.

For a second I was amused at the idea of them going from Paris and into Oslo almost immediately. xD

Suddenly the gate opens up again, and Lena uses that brief charge to send Diwan and a Brig flying, then blasts some power at Oslo. Oslo catches the power ball and...HAHAHAHAHA. HE THROWS IT AT MAHAD! Okay, see, that's a good one. Oslo's too good to play your stupid ass powerball tennis ****. He'll throw it at the guy who has no way of reflecting it back, and use that to dissuade you from attacking. See, that's cool.

That makes sense, surprisingly.

Then the Hyperion shows up, and opens fire on Oslo! I knew it! Also the sound effects for the Hyperion's guns reminds me of something, can't tell what exactly though.

Pew pew pew noises? zanga-zanga-zanga beams?

My thoughts? This was alright. I'd put it on the same general level as Mogura, though it suffered from worse writing over all. And some of the scenes where just...laughably bad. And laughably good, as "SLUGGING A ROBOT IN THE FACE" is something really awesome, and I hope someone can make a gif of it (I'd appreciate it if you did guys, just saying ).

Well now I want to see this gif'd now that you've talked it up so much.