Quote Originally Posted by Chen View Post
Your paragraphs are pretty contradictory. First says you're going to treat it as a definitive no, and then the second says you'll approach the topic again at some point. Treat it as a definitive "no" and either continue being platonic friends or not. Don't try and deceive yourself. If the relationship is what you really want out of it, that's how you're going to treat the friendship and that can be quite unhealthy.
You are... right.... I won't deny that the statements contradict each other. I also won't deny that a relationship with her is certainly a goal, but seeing it as the only goal would mean I would cut off my connections with her now because there is no way it will happen. I've already experienced what a 'friendship purely for a relationship' can bring, and I'm still experiencing the backlash from that every day. It may seem strange to 'go after' someone else in such quick succession, but I have learned, at least a bit, from my mistakes and approach it from the other standpoint, the one where it's not going to happen. So yeah, my approach and what my heart wants contradict each other. If this puts me in a really bad spot emotionally, I'm going to discuss this with her. Whatever comes out of that conversation, I will abide by that.