Originally Posted by
aspi
Just to clarify this, I don't talk to that person and rarely to others which know both of us. They are in pretty much no way part of my life anymore, so this isn't a Problem of an actual connection to them that I have to deal with. It's mostly all in my head and I need to get it out or at least put it someplace where it doesn't bother me constantly.
My problem isn't that I remember the emotional parts vividly. It's that I remember the small, meaningless things that ultimately lead me back to the bad ones. For example, I have to walk past a spot every day where we split ways for the evening three years ago and I remember what we talked about. I remember what they said, what I said, why I said that, how I felt and their reaction. None of this was important in any way or had any deeper impact on either of our lives, but it's enough for me to remember how these thoughts and feelings became part of a greater whole and then of course how that eventually turned out. The same is true for certain words or phrases, concepts, places, peoples and even an entire language - all in all way to much to cut all of it out of my life.
It's kind of a "pink elephant" thing. Once I encounter such a trigger, my mind just goes there, even if I don't want it to. I know that this is normal to some extent, but the frequency is worrying and since I remember just too much of our relation, it's all connected and it all leads back to bad memories.