Day 1553: SCREW THE EIGHTIES

SERIOUSLY! It's a cultural VOID! It's a paradox manifestation! It's a deep, diseased, rotting blight on the history of our species! The eighties were the nadir! Worse than the Black Death! Worse than Ghengis Khan! More was lost in the empty, vapid gaping pit of the eighties than in the Sack of Baghdad, the conquest of the Aztecs or in the burning of the Library of Alexandria!

What I'm trying to say is that I watched Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome today.

The first Mad Max movie was boring. The second one, Road Warrior, was good! Like a proto Fury Road, limited by the technology of their time. The third one was... well, like, you know how the first two Mad Max movies were filled with rape and murder and carnage and car chases and Mad Max killing EVERYONE? The third one was a kids movie. It was like Return of the Jedi except Luke gets written out of the story after Jabba's palace so we can follow the adventures of the loveable Ewoks.

Like goddamn. I am legitimately upset. SANDY RAVAGE IS VISIBLY UPSET. Part of that's because the movie suckered me in with a really awesome opening about Barter Town before pulling the Valley of the Ewoks reversal on me with no warning. And then I'm stuck there staring with increasing disbelief as the creepy, maniacal dwarf who runs Bartertown like a sick little tyrant on a power trip transforms into a loveable old man in a suit riding a magical train full of laughing children away to a wondrous land of enchantment.

SCREW THE 1980S.

Anyway they say a picture is worth a thousand words. But I'm too angry to even work on this more. I need to wash this taste out of my mouth somehow. Goddamn it!

Links