So besides looking for advice, I needed to get this off my chest for some time.

My last relationship ended very, very badly. It was a mix of cheating, a huge argument followed by pretty much my entire friend-circle splitting up. This was almost a year ago, and I still don't talk to a lot of people from back then. I shut myself off for quite a while, kept to myself and a couple Internet-Friends.

Recently, my Bestie contacted me again. She missed me, and asked if I was okay with meeting her again, maybe go out sometime. Honestly, I had missed her too, and the radio-silence was basically unintiontional in her case. So we've been meeting again the last couple weeks.

The thing with my Bestie, she hates seeing me lonely (Even if I'm not that bothered by that myself) and tries to introduce me to single ladies from her friend-circle.

Problem is, I feel awful even at the slightest hint of romantic feelings or flirting. I hadn't realized that my past relationsship actually hit that hard. But it... just doesnt work anymore. I get uncomfortable, defensive even. It's really hard to explain, and I know it sounds stupid, but it's like my entire Body just goes into full-on "Nope!" mode. It's especially awful since there's absolutely nothing wrong with the women I talk to. We were in a Bar and Bestie introduced me to one of her friends from school. She was really nice, we talked and laughed. But the moment it got flirty, I got flashbacks to from a year ago. I eventually left early, saying that I didnt feel all that good (Which was true).

I talked tomy Bestie and some other friends, and just asked them to keep me away from stuff like that for a while, but I dont even really know what's wrong with me. I know I felt awful towards people right after the breakup, especially women. But I seriously thought I got over that. I dont know why I cant get over these feelings. It's like I'm scared of betrayal, even if I have just met the person.

I allways had confidence issues when it comes to relationsships. And my Ex basically shattered me. It's a horrible feeling to realize, that it still haunts me more than a year afterwards. And I dont know what to do.