** May not criticise the British accent without hearing it.
*** Even if I have one of the most British accents possible.
**** May not mention that my family, despite having the most English accent possible this side of RP frequently get accused of having an American accent by people with the exact same accent.
* No matter how many laughs it gets, I cannot have the punchline to a 'the government says foreigners are evil' joke be 'now if you'll excuse me I have a Chinese girl I want to ask out'.