Personal Woes and Advice 4

[Icewraith]

A lecturer is trying to harm my university studies.

I'm a freshman and we have this lecturer (I like to call him "teacher", although he labels himself "instructor") that is making my life hard at the university. He has this style of tormenting and humiliting students and he really enjoys every second of it, you can tell that from the big grin on his face. Our lectures have something like 70 to 90 people, depending on the day, and he just suddenly points out quiet students from the crowd and makes them answer questions. I'm quiet and shy, but my method has been answering questions whenever I can. Thus the lecturer has left me in peace with his random questions since I'm active. At least this is what I imagine. However, everything was blown to hell a few days ago.

He teaches (lectures on) English grammar. He was asking a multiple choice question about a certain sentence, so I picked a choice and I was ready to present an argument why I had chosen that option. However, he told it wasn't the right option and he didn't care to listen to my argument. Then I told him, politely, that I didn't know and I wished to pass the answering turn to the next student (Those weren't the actual words that I used, but anyway). He flatly dismissed my wish. Seeing that I didn't want to "play anymore" he tormented me with three additional questions and I got a mild panic attack. I haven't had one for years, and this one wasn't that strong, but it destroyed me for a moment. I couldn't have even remembered my own name. Everyone laughed at me. And I'm not just saying that. Everyone actually did laugh at me, save a few polite and intelligent students. Then the lecturer said that we need to feel that we don't know things so that when we are teachers, we will know how our students feel. He felt that making us feel dumb was a part of his grand plan.

I've been thinking about my choices.
1. I will not go to this lectures anymore because I think I could re-develop my old anxiety disorders. I don't learn that much with that "nutty professor" (He must think it's cute, but it's not) so I can study the material at home anyway.
2. I could report him, but I don't think I have that much to go by. It was just an isolated incident, but I'm sure that now that he has discovered my weakness, he will press on more.
3. I could seek help with my anxiety, but I haven't had anything for years. The thing is that I think I will develop something because of this guy and then I will certainly have to seek help.
4. I could talk to him, but it's obvious that he likes it. I loves tormenting us and he has already given his argument: You have to feel like you don't know things, so that you can understand your students, and blahblah. I find that argument extremely poor, but it's his method.

I have felt pretty down this week, moreso than in years. The anxiety attack has left me in a weird state. I should do a lot of things for my studies, but I just keep playing Firefall and ignore life.

Edit: This could also be some sort of a cultural difference thing, since we are all Nordics and he's from the US, but I doubt it. I don't think that sadism is a part of the American curriculum, so I don't think it's any cultural thing.

1: Find out what his office hours are.

2: Find a buddy or two, preferably one who also attends the class and one that does not, to go with you. Maybe also a voice recorder if you tell everyone you want to record the conversation.

2a: Consider talking to your school's psychological services.

3: Take your buddy/ies, go to his office hours, (tell him you want to record the conversation) and tell him that he's destabilizing a mental issue you've had under control for years. Ask him to stop.

4: Take your recorder to the next lectures. Make sure it's turned on and you have space, etc (you don't need to inform him of this, many people record lectures so they can take better notes later). If he retaliates in class, you've got proof.

5: It's possible he's got some sort of strategy here, the lecture technique is an act, and he'll drop it once he's made his point. However he should probably tell you that when you do 3.

5a: If there is still a problem (i.e. he retaliates in class), consider a visit to psych services again.

6: If there is still a problem, take it up the chain- department head, HR, etc. You will have two eyewitnesses, recorded conversations, and medical records to back up your claim that there is a problem. When you have that sort of stuff, administrators tend to sit up and take notice.

7: If there is STILL a problem, we've probably moved into the realm of legal advice, which you must get somewhere else. Up to this point, it's simply been resolving a conflict and dealing with bureaucracy. However, the documentation you have of the problem will most likely be useful in the legal realm. Ideally the problem stops at step three when you tell the professor you have a legitimate problem, but you should still implement step four, just in case.

Edit: I reread the post- unfortunately, English Grammar is one of those subjects where a logical argument won't actually get you anywhere a lot of the time. Sometimes the rules basically boil down to "it doesn't sound right when you do it that way". It sounds like he's already sort of given the class a look at his master plan but you probably should still tell him he's gone too far in your case. If he wants to feel what he's putting his students through, suggest he chug a red bull or two and then spend two hours in a sensory deprivation tank, to maybe get the sensation of your body going into adrenaline mode even though you know damn well you're not under any sort of physical threat.