Most sword and board antipaladins rock a decently high dex so they can TWF with their sword and shield. Just because you are dex based does not mean that you can't use strength for damage, or that you have to be a damage machine. You get damage by volume of attacks, and use your dex+armor+shield+stuff to get a really high AC. Not to tank for the party, but to not be hit at all. You can also TWF with two weapons, but the spiked shield is usually preferred.

If you have decent dex, and lots of skill points from being int based, three ranks in acrobatics gives you poor man's combat expertise to really juice that AC. You have the INT to qualify, so you can take combat expertise to really boost your AC. You have good fort saves and hit dice, so you can go low on con. You won't need cha, so you can dump it along with wis.

If you were just dex and int, dumping the rest, I would focus on using touch of corruption and channeling negative energy. Get weapon finesse and go to town with sick nasty touch attacks, bashing with your shield as a second. Fighting defensive combat expertise really meshes well here, as most enemies have garbage touch AC. Channel smite through a finesse weapon at later levels. Knight of the sepulchur allows you to be treated as undead for neg/pos energy purposes at 5th level, allowing you to heal yourself with neg energy(you probably won't be going damphir if you are int based). You could also go for a ranged anti-paladin, or at least keep a bow as a ranged option. Elf is a solid race, but also look into wayangs- dex/int boost, wis minus, and the ability to be counted as undead once a day for neg energy healing.

I know you want to avoid dipping, but three levels in rogue gets you dex to damage with a finesse weapon of your choice. It would encourage a more aggressive dual shortsword build. It also gets you into assassin prestige class, if you are into that.

For flavor, Norgorber and Calistria are both good deities for a dex/int paladin. Norgorber is the god of assassins, spies, poison, secrets, etc, with short sword as a favored weapon. Calistria is the goddess of lust and trickery, with whips as a favored weapon. Both support a much more subtle undermining of the system and world instead of the cartoon CE "Hulk smash evil for the lulz". "A dagger in the dark is better than a thousand swords at dawn" should be your general MO, but this is not just work-you are an assassin with belief, a belief that pinpoint murder can spread discord, taking out key pegs that cause the whole structure to collapse kind of thing.