Quote Originally Posted by Splyth View Post
Boy have I got one.
Spoiler: The Most Evil Paladin
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So we are playing Reign of Winter and I'm playing a Paladin. And I built him to the the face of the party. Bunch of Charisma, and high
diplomacy. Y'know to talk his way out of combat.

So we get hooked into this adventure to help this woman (Nidya) deal with the Winter Guards that have shown up at he village and taken
everyone there captive. Now of course Lyons (the Paladin) isn't about to let that happen, so after a few clever maneuvers we manage to kill
most of the guards except the Captn (I gave them multiple opportunities to surrender and no one took me up on it.)

So we need any information about who these people work for we can get. the rest of the party decides to head downstairs to release the prisoners
and I'm supposed to stay up with this Captain and try to talk stuff over with him. Ya know like a good Paladin. Well eventually he says that if he tells me anything there's a piece of magic ice that will kill him slowly and painfully by burrowing into his heart. And he's most likely going to die anyway for failing his mission. So Lyons cuts a deal with him. He says tell me what you know and I can make your death quick and painless, it's the only mercy I can give you. He agrees, tells me what he can and I cut off his head...right as the rest of the party enters the room.

After that the rest of the party decides to have a little fun with Lyons so. So everywhere we go, they always tell about the Evil Darth Lyons who spreads mayhem and choas. And the tales get worse every time they tell them. First it was killing a man in cold blood, then it was killing twenty, then it was burning down an orphange, then 5, then 20. Then I ate people. then I ate children. And that was before the trickster god showed up.

So this god *cough* Loki *cough* comes to Lyons, who's just resigned to people fleeing in terror from him at this point, and decides to screw with
him a little more. So he gives Lyons some boons.
Boon 1: Lyons has permanent undetectable alignment (to deal with that pesky paladin aura)
Boon 2: No matter what armor Lyons dons it will always take on the form of an ebony armor decked out with in images of skulls and adorned with spikes (This is an illusion)
Boon 3: Whenever Lyons uses Smite Evil his sword erupts to crackling flames with children's faces screaming in anguish about his supposed foul deeds. Y'know stuff like "He ate my father, He laughed as he watched me burn." (Also an illusion)

So our party had to do some planes hopping, and everywhere we go, the party is telling these stories (which have only gotten worse, overlord of the planes of sacrificed virgins and child cannibalism are the most current) and my paladin now looks the part.

At the rate I'm going Lyons is going to go down in history as the most evil force to walk the earth.
This is why Loki is the best Norse god, he has a damn sense of humor.