Rob's Epic Level Campaign Continues!

[Dr_Nimm]

You all pass through the pathway opened by the kobolds. Again, it is quite walk that leads to a large underground city. If not for many of the inhabitants at the ready, you suspect that they all would be going about daily happenings, as shops and merchants litter the open space. The pathway eventually tunnels into a large, deep opening, with regal living quarters nestled on top. This is likely were the kobold king as well as the otherwise privileged.

The tunnel is large enough to fit a number of giants and most definitely a large dragon. You bravely march on.

It is eerily silent. All you here is the drip of dew slightly echoing in the distance. The light that shone in from the outside has been all but cut off, further limiting your vision. You almost here a slight dragging-- something large-- but aren't too sure as it fades into the darkness. Slight squeaks of rodents can be heard... this becomes unsettling, as you catch at least one of them looking at you intently at one point. As you pass, the small rat continues to eye you, but does nothing more.

A light fog starts to settle in. Dr. Nimm notices that the air has become slightly acidic, as his nose twitches to the sensation. Even underground, a good amount of vegetation-- in the form of moss and fungi seem to grow. This is quite a difference from the barren surface you all have recently seen.

Soon the tunnel opens up to another enormous space, nearly as large as the kobold city. Vast amounts of vegetation grow here, but all exaggerated in size, as if prehistoric. You splash around in puddles of water and hear a light rustling, as if a stream or other source is nearby. The thick air is almost refreshing, if not for the acidic tone, though the fog persists. Vines and vegetative growths are present in abundance and a series of rays from the outside sun shine through holes higher than you can see.

Passing though the vegetation, you enter somewhat of a clearing and instinctively pause. Suddenly a loud, sinister voice booms out:

Xavier Alexis... I know your name. I know who you are. Leena, the dragon slayer? Ha! And who do you travel with? Who will I have the pleasure of devouring today?

You continue to hear the dragging of what sounds like a massive body and tail. It seems that the creature is somewhere within the thick vegetation and still out of sight, though easily moving about.

ooc: Dammit! This is too similar to something upcoming in Astonishing Tales.

Dr. Nimm steps forth, concerned at not having been recognized. In Common: "Well! Xavier and Leena travel with none other than Dr. Phineas Pompeius Nimm. Perhaps you've heard of me. Also in our company is the grandmaster paladin Arcivus Luscient, singular badass of the realm. First of all, what's with the rats? Most unsanitary and unbefitting of beings of your stature to have vermin in your vincinity. If it pleases you, my automated butler, Mr. Benson, can have this place spic and span in the drop of a dragonscale. I mean... a hat. That was not a Freudian slip by the way.

Where was I? (Rupert Nimm whispers in his ear) Ah yes. We want some sword you may own. As you can't wield swords, I should think it of no consequence if you gave it to us. After all, we have no quarrel with you. In fact, I've never figured out why treasure was so important to dragons. Why do dragons even hoard it? Do they ever shop? If so, what stores do dragons visit? I've never heard of a dragon going shopping. If you did, you would have certainly heard of me, as I've invented numerous household items, numbering close to 3, 000 patents, including the #RhinOven. An oven large enough to BAKE A WHOLE ****ING RHINOCEROS. Perfect for dragons!

So, do you barter gold amongst one another? What is it that you would buy? Perhaps virgins, or sheep? And for how much? Dragons never seem to have anything to show for their wealth. The point of currency is to buy things, yet you still live in unfurnished caves, always in single rooms, and naked but for your scales! I really would like to know. If you do not have a satisfactory answer, I see no reason for you not to hand over the sword, and maybe a little extra...

Perhaps we can trade it for a #Rhinoven.

Its not like you need the treasure. You don't even take care of the rat problem! Every one of you think you're so great and mighty, but I've never seen a dragon lair that even had a bathroom! For all your pretensions, your species keep very low living standards.

As far as devouring, you may try, but we're probably disgusting. I myself am so polluted that you would likely die. And as you said, we also have Leena 'the Dragonslayer.' If I were a dragon, I'd be somewhat nervous if someone called Dragonslayer showed up in my ONE ROOM STUDIO, so I don't see why you're chuckling. Just saying.

(I switch to Draconic): Assuming, of course, that you are one. Let's have a look!

I light a sunstone or torch and toss it at where I think it might be. Perception 28