So, something like this?
-Seargent Wilsburg of CTPD, Dry season of 1497. Due to operator error, this sound bite was played several times over the city loudspeakers, making it a popular quote to spoof for a few years to follow. The case remains classified, though rumors and crazy theories abound.
"Let them take what they want; we're already out of anything that's worth a d*mn."