As the topic says, I'd like to hear your experiences in defusing gamer drama. Because nothing I've tried works.


My own tale: I've been in a solid group on roll20 for several months now. Myself and three other players and a highly promising DM on his first game. Enter the new guy. I don't have a problem with him, personally. But he has an issue with me not being the most 'tactically sound' character (I play a Bard). We've had disagreements in the past, him getting upset over what I'm doing is a 'waste of party resources' when I'm just trying to have FUN. It's been slowly getting worse with the not-so-veiled insults, and worse, the rest of the party seems to be taking his side.

For example? The so called last straw: I've been told I'm 'hogging the spotlight.' In a recent encounter, we snuck on up a clearly evil dude that my backstory has me sworn to take down (confirmed to be evil by several sources, including another player's magic) and I want to kill the dude. We discuss our tactics, and the party decides it's not worth taking this guy out as it could be dangerous, he might not be 100% evil, and we could TPK. Being the not tactically sound bard that I am, I state I'm going to go for it, give it my best shot alone if I must. I beg for their aid... and get an out of character screaming match for wanting to do things solo. End session.

I tried to explain things on our forum per the DM's request. Not pulling punches, but trying to be constructive and end on a positive note of how we can work together. That goes poorly, of course. I've tried apologizing for things going poorly. I'm told I'm not sincere. I offer to quit the group so the others will be happy, and DM says he'll stop running it if I do. I write a longer, more sincere apology to post on the forums, and ask DM to approve it first to make no mistakes. I'm told not to post it as saying anything will make things worse.


Frankly, I don't think the group is going to last at this point. It's been a blast to play in, and one of my favorite groups in 20 years, but the drama is going to kill it. I feel responsible, that if I have worded things better I could have smoothed things over. If one of my persuasion/diplomacy checks hadn't fumbled, we wouldn't be in this mess. I don't know. I mean, what do you do when talking and blanket apologies don't work? I don't think I can save this group, but I don't want to be stuck in this problems again. Has anyone found a way to slay the dreaded drama beast?