I'm going to start judging, because the deadline has passed. My voteswill be bolded.
SaintRidley vs LordotTrinkets
Spoiler: SaintRidley vs LordotTrinkets
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SaintRidley
You have an interesting take on the rhythm of your poem. I like it. But sometimes, it feels choppy and the meaning is lost. However, I see this as your representation of Relationship anarchy. I'd change line 2 so that it wouldn't end in "and I'm." You're starting an idea, then cutting it short by starting a new line. And in Verse 3 line 4, "quick" and "shredding" are part of the same idea, don't separate them.
Your rhymes are OK, but they feel forced. Think about the rhyme and rhythm simultaneously so that both feel less awkward.
I don't understand why you have that one verse in Spanish. While the content of the verse describes the guitar well, I don't see why you did it in another language.
The word choice is nice. Not only do you show how the guitar looks, but how it feels as you play it. Very descriptive.
The prompts are very clearly present in the poem. The different guitar techniques and styles show how the guitarist doesn't feel differently about each "relationship" with each style, very nicely showing the relationship anarchy.
Ideas are great, but work on the structure of the piece.
LordotTrinkets
No poem.
SaintRidley
Spoiler: Lethologica vs FinnLassie
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Lethological
The first verse has a nice and simple flow. Clean. The second verse is more chaotic, which helps amplify the feel of the section. However, the thoughts aren't clearly distinguishable, and some time needs to be taken to identify each. Thought provoking, yes, but that should be in the idea, not rhythm.
Rhymes in the first half fit nicely. The rhyme at the end gives closure to the conclusion, rather than cutting the poem off.
Descriptive word choice about the journey to Garbje, yet the focus of detail is on the narrator in the second half. Love the red spatter by green.
You spend a lot of time on Garbje and the journey, but it's almost as if you mentioned the image prompt as an afterthought at the end. Both prompts should be of equal prominence throughout the entire poem.
Nice work on descriptions, but keep the ideas (second verse) organized.
FinnLassie
The repeated haiku format keeps the flow of the piece moving. Simple, yet elegant. Lacks the ingenious spark of creativity, but it definitely doesn't detract from the piece.
There isn't any rhyming in here, but it doesn't feel like it's lacking, since the flow makes up for it.
Nice job on the word choice. I can clearly visualize the poem, which is great. None are vague, all give clear definitions.
The phrase "You're the only one" is gorgeous. It's prominence in the poem depicts the image nicely. Why didn't you keep it in the first verse?
The "Only One" image is very nicely portrayed in the poem. But the mentions of Garbje are little and nowhere near the prominence of the image. Both should be ore or less equally shown, difficult as it may be.
Beautiful poem about a flower, but don't forget about Garbje!
FinnLassie
Spoiler: neriractor vs Jormengand
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neriractor
Your rhythm in the first and last verse feels good. But in the second verse, it's as if you cannot decide how many syllables to put into each line. I had to pause reading and reread the lines a bit, because it was off. Try to keep a steady pattern, or at least one that flows.
The rhyming is done well. Why don't you have it in the first verse?
Descriptive word choice. I'd like it more if the bird was a bit more described. Love the "cheeks bathed in salt"
In between the first and second verse it feels like there is a gap in the story. The bird is flying, and suddenly it stops breathing? Add a verse in between to help clarify the transition.
You talk a lot about the bird, but rather little about Frank Verdi. The closest mention to him is a generic pitcher. Both prompts have to be used.
Also, how come each line isn't capitalized? There's also the typo in the last line for threw.
Jormengand
The repetition of "you had one ___" is done well. I like it, it emphasizes the idea.
Great job on rhyming, but I think it might have been better if you changed it up a bit.
Words are good. They're not overly complex, so it doesn't overpower the message.
I love the idea about being given a chance but not using it. Very deep meaning in your poem, but the style doesn't fit.
You don't really use the prompts, which is kinda bad, but you make up for it by including your own perspective.
Jormengand
Spoiler: Techwarrior vs Elvaris vs The Bandicoot
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Techwarrior
Your rhythm is done well. Not only is the flow in the verses good, but the poem flows in between verses. I don't really see three line verses elsewhere(except haikus), but you pull it off. This is probably a typo, but you add an extra "I" in verse 2 line 2.
Rhyming is done excellently.
You describe it amazingly. I see the place, but I also feel the place. Nice figurative language.
The poem tells a beautiful story. The emotions throughout fit together like a, like a, umm, flowy thingy.
The narrator is the moth, but there's little description of them except for the last verse. The apples are mentioned, but little is said about them.
Superb, but mix more of the prompts in.
Elvaris
There's no structure, but it still flows. Unique.
Really like your description of autumn. "Blanket of shadows" is a really nice phrase
"of metamorphosis" and "we both might" are too small in comparison to the other lines, so it cuts ideas short. Either extend these or connect them with another line
You describe the elements of autumn and change really well. Love it
Try to say something a bit more specific about the apples photo.
The Bandicoot
The flow gives this a lighthearted feel, which I like, but the syllables in each line have inconsistency. The pattern (I think) you tried to follow was three odd numbers followed by an even number of syllables, but some lines contained even amounts. Keep it (somewhat) consistent.
I like the style of your rhyming, with three rhymes and one non-rhyme line. It really helps to keep this bouncy, which is done well.
Your adjectives and verbs help keep the lighthearted tone, yet they could use a bit more depth/power.
You do a great job with the prompts. Both are used equally and with emphasis.
Techwarrior, 2nd place The Bandicoot
Spoiler: Black Socks vs Thanqol
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Black Socks
Gotta love those limericks. However, you're cramming too many syllables into the lines. If you want to stick to the limerick, you have to keep the rhythm intact.
Rhyming's done well.
Your words fit really well with the playful feel of limericks.
So far, this poem has probably fit the prompts the most. You use the Wallendas and dragonfly in both of your limericks very well.
Thanqol
I'm usually not one for freeflow poems, but this somehow feels, right. I just really connect with this.
No rhyming, no problem.
The dragonfly is painted with such clear detail. Love it.
I really see the dragonfly prompt, but the Wallendas is a bit vague. It could be any physical movement.
This one was close, but Thanqol's idea stood out more.
Spoiler: The Extinguisher vs Cuthalion
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The Extinguisher
Rhythm feels like someone's talking to me. It feels conversational. I like that.
Not much rhyming, but definitely no detraction.
You could've used a bit more descriptive words. It fits the conversational feel, but more detail would be appreciated.
Not only do you include the prompt, you actually used details from the wikipedia article. Nice!
Cuthalion
No poem
The Extinguisher
I'll edit all my votes and critiques into this post as I finish them.
Re: Iron Poet XXIII
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