Things I'm Not Allowed To Do While Gaming

[brian c]

3578: I cannot seduce my secretary.
3579: Even if I have maxxed bluff at level 14 and high CHA.
3580: No, not even if I alter self to appear as her husband.
3581: No, not even then.

Then what the hell is she there for??? Please tell me this isn't a standard D&D campaign; adventurers don't really need anyone to take their calls or anything

edit: also

3626: Am allowed to completely fill out the equipment section of my ascetic monk's character sheet with one word: pants