Quote Originally Posted by Jormengand View Post
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Yay, strawman argument!

No, the argument is "I don't think "It" is dehumanising when used to refer to a person even though it's sometimes used that way, and want to be referred to as "It". Given a choice between sounding as though you're dehumanising me and actually dehumanising me, the answer should be obvious. If you'd rather save face with the ignorant than respect my basic dignity, you do that and I'll be over there."
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The fact that I know you don't think an action is dehumanizing doesn't necessarily prevent me from feeling performing that action is still dehumanizing you. If I use "it" I feel bad and look bad to everyone who doesn't have the context (which can have its own consequences), if I don't use "it" I feel bad and you feel bad/angry. Either way I feel bad and have a conscious or subconscious motivation to avoid similar interactions.

You're taking a "same word, not an insult in this context, none of the guilt" approach, but the reality is "same word, normally an insult, all of the guilt". So it is not a strawman, and it is still lose-lose for the pronoun-er.