Quote Originally Posted by 8BitNinja View Post
Do you have both? Then you won't be seeing elves any time soon.

That's a relief!

Also, what kind of elves are they?.

You know, the "good neighbors", "honest folk", "gentry", "people of peace", the cattle blightin', baby stealin', stroke causin' Elves!

Now whether they be Dvergr (Dwarves), Dökkálfar (Dark Elves), Svartálfar (Black Elves), Ljósálfar (Light Elves), or some other breed of Huldufólk (hidden people), is less important than the certainty that once you've spotted one soon you'll have an infestation of trooping fairies making circles on your lawn with their dancin' (don't believe that "flying saucer" landing malarky, 'tis Elves!).

Unfortunately when I last went to Ace Hardware, while I could find "Gopher-go-die", "Rat-be-gone", and "Squirrel-scram", they were all out of "Elf-away", so since you can't be too careful, I recommend installing plenty of running water in your home (please have them installed by Guild/Union plumbers), with iron horseshoes nailed on the walls, and lit by plug-in holy symbols.

Hopefully that will keep the "gentry" away.


Note: Besides my own lunacy the above rant was inspired by my recent purchase of Neil Gaiman's Norse Mythology, and my digging up my 1976 copy of Katharine Briggs An Encyclopedia of Fairies, Hobgoblins, Brownies, Bogies, and Other Supernatural Creatures (a worthy companion to her British Folktales).

Besides such notable entries such as "Spells to obtain power over fairies", and "Virtues esteemed by fairies", there's "Protection against fairies". Some methods include bells, crosses (particularly ones made of iron), four-leafed clover, knives, open scissors (particularly ones made of steel), and horseshoes.

And given that the "people of peace"' have a history of blighting your cattle, stealing your children, and causing strokes, why wouldn't you use protection?