Campaign Quotes, No Context Edition VI: Good. Bad. I'm the one with the pun.

[Gallade]

"Here's the short version: this guy is about to be named a honorary hero for defeating a horde of devil, but he's actually their associate and also kidnapped scores of people to do research on them and empower the weapon the devils gave him. We have to crash his party, get him away from the other guests, stage a public riot so half the guards are drawn away from the castle, use our contacts in the military to get the other half away, taunt him into using the weapon, then teleport him where everyone can see it."
Geralt:"What kind of convoluted plan is that? I can't even follow half of it."
Root:"That's why I and Lucian come up with the plans."
Geralt:"Hey, I come up with a lot of good plans too!"
Lucian:"Except all of your plans are pretty much 'Get the jump on them -> ??? -> Profit' "


Geralt:"Wait, Clara is the only woman in Rathos by now, pretty much."
Root:"Well, unless you count the old crone from the church, the vampire, the cultist twins, the little girl from the village..."
Geralt:"As in, LIVING woman."
Root:(Ruminates a few seconds)"...whoa, you're right. Wherever we go, chicks be dyin' yo."