In other news, an update to:

Quote Originally Posted by 2D8HP View Post
[....]On Tuesday and Wednesday I had previously signed out for vacation days, so I could visit my father, who is dying of a brain tumor at a hospital Psych ward, where he had been placed against his will because the staff at the hospice he was at say he was violent.

I had seen just how removed from reality my father has become, and when I last saw him he told me that "I don't ever wan to see you again", so I stayed away for a month, but the Physicians caring for him say he is very likely to die soon, so I had resolved to visit him anyway, but both days, I couldn't bring myself to leave my car, which I stayed in for almost ten hours on Tuesday, and over eleven hours yesterday, because I just couldn't have the courage to face again the descent of my father into madness and death.

I"m back at work, and unlike Monday, when I closed seven Service Orders, today I've only repaired one sink for the DA's, and the usual drains up in the Jail, which needs still more repairs, but instead of going back up to the Jail, I'm hiding and writing this post.

I signed out for a vacation day last Thursday with an intention of visiting my father before he dies, despite him saying "I never want to see you again", but my cowardice and some extreme back pain that's been getting worse this past month kept me away.

I went to work on Friday, causing more debilatating pain as did lifting my 21 month son today.

I had also signed out for vacation days next Monday and Wednesday, with plans to see my father, but I just spoke to me brother who told me the news that "He's past".

The body is "still on the floor" of the hospital "if you want to say goodbye", but I can't think of a reason to visit a lifeless body (I've seen enough of them unclogging drains at the autopsy room at work).

There is no "At least he had a good life" condolences to be had, as he really didn't, and since he didn't believe that he's "Going to a better place", there isn't that either.

My brother lives in Maryland not California, but unlike me he's allowed to take personal calls (I mostly work in the Jail where cellphones are forbidden), so he gets the news, but he can't physically be here so I will have to decide what to do with my fathers body and his things.


Quote Originally Posted by WarKitty View Post
....the struggle for some of us is, what if you can't be the kind of....

Looks like you have a clear-eyed-view of your situation @WarKitty, there is no "bootstrapping" solution for bad luck and ill-health, and those who say otherwise are either naive pollyanna's or victim-blaming scumbags.

Unfortunately what would help you and allow you to stay where you live is beyond what may be discussed.

So maybe move to Massachusetts? (other places would be even better but you aren't a citizen of there).