I think #1 does matter, if not a ton. GWF is a pretty weak fighting style. Defense is competitive with it if you are a paladin with a greatsword. Whether or not GWF applies to smite and GFB is going to be a factor in which one I pick, possibly the deciding factor.
As to it coming up or not... it comes up in every game where you have a paladin who wields a two-handed weapon or when you have a Battlemaster who has GWF. So not all the time, but reasonably often.
As to it being unrealistic.... eh. I mean, what the heck does a battlemaster damage die represent, anyway? What does 'rerolling a 1 or a 2' represent? The fighting styles are pretty darn gameified.