Quote Originally Posted by qechua View Post
1) Get someone else to take photos of you, preferably someone good.

More candid shots work better than staged stuff, although feel free to have a mix of each. Basically, though, next time you do things, ask a friend to take some photos of you, because good self-photography is really difficult. Include at least one head/shoulder shot, and one full body, and don't go topless/bikini unless it suits the situation (beach etc). Show, don't tell comes in, if you have a cool looking hobby (in my case, archery), get a shot of that as well.

As an addition, get the other people to pick the photos of you as well. If you're anything like me, you'll be so overly picky with pictures that you'll hate them all. Putting it as a Facebook profile pic is a good test for an image.
Been trying to arrange this for hours, unfortunately the only friends I have who would be willing to do it are either busy or in China.

2) Be concise

A lot of people will be reading a lot of profiles. No need to go full tweet size, but try not to exceed more than 200 words. You can leave some things out if they are minor so you can concentrate on the bigger things, consider the smaller lot good fodder for actual dates.
Maybe it's because I get annoyed at short profiles (sure girl, you may be really pretty, but you've given me nothing to even talk about), but I've tried to strike the balance of including a fair amount of wordage, but keeping each section short. I dunno, maybe that strategy will fail, but I assume most people will be going 'nope' just after reading my summary.

3) Read what they write

Of particular note for men, when writing a message to someone, read their profile and ask questions from it. Be as specific as what they wrote, so if they say they read, ask what their favourite books are, while if they say they love a particular book (series), try to ask questions about that (although don't fake it). Your message really needs to stand out if you want a response, leading to...
You mean I shouldn't just open with comments about their boobs?

But about what I was expected. God, it's trying to chat up neurotypicals all over again.

4) Be ready to be ignored

Sorry to say it, but it's a fact of online dating, a lot of the messages you write (as a guy) will be ignored. It's nothing personal against you, it's simply that women will have a huge amount of messages (a lot of them trash). For that reason, I'd probably recommend Bumble, since women have to make the first move (it's a Tinder style 2-way match, from which the woman has 24 hours to message the man). It means you'll still get ignored, but since you aren't sinking your heart and soul into every message (as you will do to start), you won't feel as much of a toll. The less you take the ignoring personally, the better you'll do
Oh, certainly. It's not the being ignored itself that annoys me, it's the being completely ignored. Must be doing something wrong.

I'll look into that app though, if we have it here in the Land of Tea and Apologies.

5) Don't pressure yourself

Slightly off topic, but try not to put pressure on your own shoulders. It'll be hard to do, but try to be chill. If you need a break, take a break. If you have a bad stint, step away for a few days. And don't force yourself into something you don't want to do. If someone messages you (it does happen, I swear, my girlfriend is the one who initiated contact with me), and you don't like the look of their profile, you don't have to do anything. If you're feeling vindictive, you can just ignore it outright, otherwise a simple "No, thanks" is good enough.
A bit easier to say than do

Thanks for the advice though.