Iron Chef Optimisation Challenge in the Playground XCIV

[Zaq]

I had zero ideas related to actually optimizing the class. My entry was just going to be an elaborate series of escalating puns.

You see, he was going to start as a nobody whose job was mostly sweeping and cleaning up, and he was going to be known as the Broomlord.

He was going to learn Druid magic and become known as the Bloomlord.

I had an episode planned out where he became the leader of a tribe of myconids and became the Shroomlord (or, if you wanna get some Mario up in here, the Goomlord, because myconids are goombas and you will never convince me otherwise).

He would start as illiterate (start as Barbarian) and eventually learn about grammar with a level of Truenamer, becoming the Whomlord.

He would have taken up Craft: Weaving and become the Loomlord.

After gaining a marked speed increase, he would take up the mantle of the Zoomlord.

He was going to start digging up bodies and become the Exhumelord. Perhaps the very bodies that he buried as the Entomblord.

After he took up anonymous writing, he became known as the Nom-de-plumelord.

Upon getting married, of course, he was the Groomlord.

When the SI gave him resistance to negative energy, he would spend some time sulking on the NEP and become the Gloomlord.

(He might, in preparation, spend some time prepping for that last one as the Tomblord.)

At the levels where the SI gives a CHA increase? Say hello to the Va-va-voomlord!

After learning Fireball or a few other blast spells, he would be known as the Kaboomlord. (Not to be confused with his stint as the Boomlord, when he mostly focused on sonic damage.)

He would perhaps be a raptoran, and upon gaining his true flight, he would be known as the Plumelord.

He would learn about alchemy and make gaseous grenades, as is appropriate for the Fumelord. (Though he may create more pleasant things under the title of the Perfumelord.)

He would return to something he started earlier, as he is, after all, the Resumelord.

A few ranks in Profession: Peanut Farmer are necessary for anyone who wishes to become the Legumelord.

If we could swing polymorphing into a barghest, we could get away with being the Consumelord. (Or perhaps the Subsumelord?)

Some clever tactics with channeling water would net him the title of the Flumelord.

The pièce de résistance, of course, is found here:

Spoiler

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(Link if imgur doesn't want to be imgur: https://i.imgur.com/Rjc5E5G.gif Please, please click on this if you can't see the image. It's important.)

Pictured: a man running out of uses of Entropic Blow.

. . . Why yes, this is the Roomlord.

I gave up on "Womblord" because I knew that there was absolutely no joke that could be made there that wouldn't be offensive in some way, shape, or form.

Oh, and the character's name was going to be Hookline. Geddit? Geddit? Hookline the Sinker? I kill me!