during dying light, but so stupid i had to post it here.

me: dude! don't drop kick my corpse! find your own!

me: ok, lockpicking. cover me.
VB: don't take too long, i gotta go pee.
me: hold on, this one's givin' me trouble.
VB: ok, i'll just go to the ba-
me: done.
VB: 7 seconds, and you struggled?!

several lockpick speed-openings later, with VB getting more and more stunned by the speed of the skill.

*lockpick click*
VB: *laughs*
dahrzull: what's so funny?

dahrzull: found some chests here!
me: *click* *click* ok, 2 down! how ya doin' dahrzull?
dahrzull: *chuckles* i get it now.

dahrzull: ok, let's go in stealthily. camouflage up, here's some nightvision potions. remember, bows and stealth. this is a volatile hive!
*...* *first encounter with a volatile
me and VB: BWAAAAAAH!! *grenades and shotgun blasts*
dahrzull: that works too! BWAAAAAH!!

me: cool! found a chest!
*click*
dahrzull: beat you to it.

me: cover me, i'm going in!
*huge explosions, my team icon goes dead*
VB: he did say cover him, right?
dahrzull: yeah, you probably shouldn't have thrown bombs on top of him.
VB: hey, there's no zombies near his corpse!

dahrzull: dude, we can't loot children in this game?!
me: nah, we can only dismember them. guess too much is too much, you know?

VB: i should be shocked this is the godfather of my soon-to-be-born daughter talking about dismembering toddlers, but i know him too well.

dahrzull: i wouldn't mind some assistance, the hulk is playing pinball with my gonads over here.

VB: gui! i was breaking his neck and you cut off his head at the same time!
gui: just making sure he was very deceased.

me: *drop kicks zombie*
VB: *drop kicks same zombie in flight in another direction*
dahrzull: *shoots zombie in midair* i don't do sports. i waste ammo.

me: i drive better when i'm drunk!
VB: he really does, dahrzull.
dahrzull: does he have a bottle of hooch laying around, then? because this is pathetic.

dahrzull: is friendly fire activated? *shoots a barrel of explosives through VB*
VB, obviously dead: i think so, yeah.

*click*
me: VB?!
VB: FINALLY!