Respectful term for nonbinary people and people of unknown gender?

[Razade]

Interestingly, neither of those are what im suggesting - ive been vying for a third option barrelling right in the middle between the binary.

Good luck.

Just use words that dont have inherent gender. If they dont exist, you can just make them up. Were very good at making up words people do it all the time. We dont need to justify calling mixed groups dudes or chicks because you can just call people coolkids

All words are made up. We can decouple them from the baggage. You're the one not letting go. Just let go. It's easier and more fun on the side of the pond that goes "Yeah, all that baggage we don't like? Screw it."

But the moment it becomes about identity, that power shuts off. Suddenly "xe/xem/xer" is a bridge too far, despite looking and acting like every other third person pronoun. The walls of grammer come up, and we start talking about the need for 'clear communication' despite the fact that we both understand the word enough to debate about it

Then stop making it about identity.

Look, i didnt plan to go off on grammer but its a frustrating part of these conversations everytime.

Because you make it so.

Of all the suggestions so far, (if we must come up with a term) I'm coming around to liking "friend". I can see using it: "Hello, friend. How are you?" Sounds like an offer, really. Maybe an Amish touch? True gender neutral, it's not a made up word so people are comfortable with it, it's less familiar than "pal/buddy/ honey/ sweetie", more respectful than "dude/ace/ kid", less foreign than "amigo/ paesan" and no bad history like "comrade".

I have to laugh at the fact that "amigo" is too foreign for you to use. You want to assign some level of respect to Dude/et all and won't use Boss because...they're not the boss of you. Or Hefe, because that's probably too "foriegn" to you. Forget that English has more French and Latin words in it than a liquored up Roman Soldier roaming through Gaul has rocks in his sandels, but if it's got a little cilantro and lime on it it's verboten. Or "bad history" because ya know, only the Reds use Comrade.

All of that but Friend is a-ok. I don't know you from Adam. If you come up and call me friend my first assumption is you're trying to get something from me. Of course I still wouldn't be offended, but I'd absolutely wonder what angle you're working and why you think I'm too stupid to not see you working that angle. Friend is super, overly familiar.