What's the best degree path for a potential mad scientist?

[warty goblin]

villain support charities...

Now I'm imagining what sort of beg letters that charity would send out...

Dear Mr. Goblin,
I'm sure you saw that last week when Dr. Viktoria Nefarious von Tottenberg was arrested after her breakthrough success in mind-grafting the brain of an executed criminal into a M1 Abrams tank. While the news media focused endlessly on how the Zombie-Tank had run over several elderly widows on its way to attack the puppy orphanage while blaring Nickelback at 150 decibels from its external speakers, I would like to tell you about how we at Extremely Vile Ideas Labs helped make this breakthrough achievement possible with the support of concerned evildoers like yourself.

First we identify leading candidates who just refuse to let things like 'morality', 'ethics review boards' or indeed 'laws' stand in the way of the nightmare future of mad science we all crave. We found Dr. von Tottenberg after an ill-tempered hamster she had successfully mind-grafted to an electric 'manscaping' razor went on a rampage and gave several bystanders tragic haircuts in their personal regions. Thanks to the support of unethical monsters like yourself, our talent scouts were able to successfully exfiltrate Ms. von Tottenberg before the Swiss police closed the border.

It goes without saying that our agents also detonated her mountaintop lair as part of the dramatic and evidence-destroying escape plan we offer to all totally crazed researchers needing to get out of town before the 'do-gooders' show up.

Then we nurture any promising mad scientists through a rigorous mentorship program, where candidates learn not only evil science, but how to ironically kill minions, evade detection by wearing either totally lame or utterly implausible disguises, look good in tight leather pants, and, of course, work on their maniacal laugh. Indeed we are the only non-profit evil organization in the world with fully accredited graduate programs in Bio-unethics, implausible lasers, clearly omnicidal robotics, and many other top mad science fields. Indeed only last year, thanks to the support of maniacs like you, we were delighted to offer a new doctoral program in splicing weapons onto clones of prehistoric animals. But kidnapping the spouses/children/anime love pillows of the accreditation committee doesn't come cheap, and there is so much more we could offer. Dr. von Tottenberg's immensely promising research was tragically delayed by six months due to funding shortfalls for smuggling the red <REDACTED> crystals out of <REDACTED>.

So if you are like me, and you long to crush the governments of the world in your bio-engineered fist, you know the importance of basic mad research. Where would we be today without the invention of shrink rays, freeze rays, heat rays, gravity rays, hero-weakness rays, and so much more critical research we all depend upon? Think of all the strange rays that are yet to be discovered! Please, donate today. Even a modest donation of several million in uncoined gold or ownership of an small evil holding corporation buys the amoral mercenaries, refined uranium and Substance X that today's mad scientists need to succeed!

Sincerely,
Dr. E. E. "Kaboom" McBlast.

Because the future is only a nightmare away.


Honestly it'd be more interesting than the nonsense my college keeps sending me.