Okay, serious question. How does somebody find someone?

Because online dating just doesn't work for me. Sending first messages is incredibly difficult for me, and when I do I have a 1/50 response rate at best.

Meeting new people in general isn't easy for me anyway. Whenever I've tried to go to a club or similar I've had the problems of it either being fat too noisy for me, or in a pub and as such far too noisy for me. So I haven't even made any new friends in almost a year, even as my old friends her harder and harder to meet up with.