Agreed (except maybe for the last bit, no point in quantifying the victimhood between the two.)
If you don't want to follow a guide to break your oath, the OIO mod will tell you exactly which conversation options will break each oath, as well as noting which ones will break any oath.
While I dislike Oathbreaker in tabletop 5e, they did a really good job of implementing in in BG3 by creating the Oathbreaker character, and in particular giving... it?... unique dialogue with Dark Urge. It was a pretty brilliant choice on Larian's part and makes me want to actually do an Oathbreaker Durge run.