Interesting Dispel Magic Questions

[schm0]

So you contend you cast a spell at a 'Target of self' but the spell does not actually land on the target, but instead becomes an independent free floating vapor.

So an Alter Self spell is not actually on the target, despite altering their body?
A Detect Thoughts spell is not actually on the caster, nor is Divine Favor?

No, that is not an accurate description of my argument. I'm not sure what kind of tone you are going for in your post, but it's not appreciated.

What I am saying is this: where a spell effect is created (the target) is one thing, what it creates (the spell effect) is another. Dispel magic only concerns itself with the latter. In other words, the spell effects that can be subsequently targeted: a creature, object or magical effect.

Thus, we have spells with a range of self that alter the creature (alter self, most others), but we also have a spell with a range of self that creates an object (shadow blade) and spells with a range of self that create a magical effect (produce flame, spirit guardians).