Ah, it hadn't occurred to me that one could get an INT penalty from the undead template itself, despite having been told about the Curst earlier.
In the meantime... I think Merideath's aesthetic concerns can be solved with a Hat of Disguise and possibly something to disguise the smell - something that's been dead for as long as a lich shouldn't have much one one, but it's still a good base to cover. A Hat of Disguise also means I don't need Disguise Self on my list, so Dread Necromancer is back on the table. DN still has the issue of having a lot of its features eclipsed by the Lich template (the point is that you're slowly becoming a lich, after all), and its spell selection, while spontaneous, is much more limited. It is, however, lower-optimization and less of a headache for me, as I have fewer potential spells to worry about. Could also PrC out so I get actual class features. The Wizard may be the superior choice in terms of power, but it'll also take a lot more sifting through sourcebooks.
One other consideration - the Dread Necro is better than the Wizard in terms of making and controlling undead, thanks to some class features that aren't Lich Jr. abilities. That's not necessarily a point in its favor, though - from the fact that Leadership is banned, I assume samduke doesn't want to deal with too many minions, and I don't want to deal with minions much, either.
I think I'll make a Dread Necro build first for expediency's sake, then if I have time I'll work on a Wizard build and decide which I want.