Team Ready, Aim, Fire! VII

[Lord Herman]

While Neodan282 is dragged off by the lawyers, Indurain decides it’s time to deal with the Zerg once and for all. “Hmm,” he says, “Cerebrates can only be harmed by Dark Templar energies. Now where do I find those?” He casually walks past the templar archives, looks around, and quickly sneaks in. “Alright, there’s got to be a book about the Dark Templar here somewhere. Ah, there it is. ‘Wielding the Dark Energies for Dummies’.”

“Hey,” says Akaziel, “how come you have all the railroads?” Atreyu bleats. “Alright, alright, here’s your money. Just wait until you land on Pacific Avenue.”

Ink is patrolling the skies above the Zerg base, as he suddenly notices a vague shimmering shape approaching. “Quick,” he says, “get an overlord over here! I think it’s a cloaked wraith!” As one of the slow, lumbering beasts floats towards Ink’s position, Hoggy’s wraith becomes visible. “Avast, me cloak! I’ll get ye, ye scurvy Zerg!”

“Oh, I can’t believe it! Boardwalk? Come on!” Atreyu bleats, and points at a red plastic figure on the game board. “A hotel? When the heck did you build a hotel there? By Adun, that’s just cost me half my money!”

Evnafets is watching the Protoss and the Terrans, waiting for them to slaughter each other. Suddenly, a Protoss zealot jumps out of the bushes. “Ha, now I have you, foul cerebrate!” “Oh, really? Fear the power of my base defences!” “Oh crap!” Indurain closes his eyes, expecting to be killed any second. After a while, he opens his eyes again, and looks around the Zerg base. “Wait a minute... you haven’t built any sunken colonies! You only built spore colonies!” “Well, crap.” says evnafets as the zealot bursts into laughter.

“Ha, gotcha!” says Akaziel. “You’re going to jail, executor!” Atreyu bleats, and shows a card. “What the... the one time you land on ‘go to jail’, you have a get out of jail free card? You lucky bastard!”

Hoggy fires his missiles, but Ink manages to evade them. The mutalisk fires a couple of glaive wurms, and manages to hit Hoggy’s wing. “Blimey, I be hit!” Ink prepares to fire another shot, but Hoggy suddenly makes a steep dive. “Ha! Ye may have hit me, but ye willna kill me! NO-ONE BUT A TERRAN DEFEATS A TERRAN!” And with those words, Hoggy crashes his wraith into the Zerg base, destroying a Mutalisk Cavern and startling a drone.

“Ooh, a chance card! Let’s see... ‘The Campaign For Llama Rights sues you. Give $500 to all llamas.’ What?” Atreyu bleats, and points at himself. “Yes, I know you’re a llama. Thanks for reminding me.”

“Right, ‘Step 1: find a Zerg cerebrate.’ Okay, done that. Step 2...” “Uhm, mind if I call my minions now?” “Wait a sec, almost done here. ‘Step 2: clear your mind, and open yourself to the dark forces of the void.’ Alright, clearing my mind... done. Okay, and now step 3. ‘Stab the cerebrate.’ Okay, sounds simple.” “Now hold on a minute...” says the cerebrate, as Indurain stabs him. “Alright, that ought to do it,” he says, as evnafets explodes in a shower of blood.

“Ha, I rolled a 12! That means I land on... no... crap, I land on Boardwalk! Again!” Atreyu grins. “Alright, that’s it! I’m never playing ‘Atreyu Always Wins Monopoly’ with you again!”