Moscow Press: Spring 1901 Edition
Russian Storms Harm Communication
The Peace-Czar Igal Stovanovski has left the city of Moscow and commenced mobilization.
"It is essential for maintaining premium country that we maintain premium mobility, yes?" he told Moscow Press in a recent interview. "Therefore we have sent in general mobilization before those silly Westerners."
When confronted with the fact that general mobilization orders commit troops to their destinations, Stovanovski was resolute in his reply. "We are mobilizing to be mobile! Cease asking these silly questions!"
It is the opinion of many throughout the world that the true reason for this forwardness lies in the fact that the capital city has been predicted to be out of touch with the rest of the world due to severity in storms.
"We deny all knowledge of such storms!" said Weather-Czar Ivan Bruceskii. "In Russia, the almanacs do not predict the weather. They ARE the weather!"
We were unable to approach the High Czar for comment, as he is currently snowed in.

//There's supposed to be a power outage today, so I sent in orders.