Yes, what Grey Watcher said is correct.

We see, ahead, in the trees, a clearing... in a sense. It's the opposite of a clearing. It's a void. We can tell where the land is, it's still there, but it's like we're staring into a starless sky at the same time. There's a dead body in the clearing, twitching. The animals, they're all staring at the body. We're staring at the body. Some of the animals aren't just staring though, they're running in a circle, and darting across it in strange patterns, climbing over each other, and continuing to run counter clockwise.
As we watch, the corpse spins too spins. There on its back, it circles in brief jerking motions like a top. A blade thrusts OUT of one it its arms, shredding the hand into a puddle of gore with a sickening sound. It twists and jerks, spinning up onto the blade/hand. One leg rises straight in the air, and another blade thrusts from it calf, shredding the foot, poiting straight towards the sky.
I just took the above quote and gave it a ...makeover... of sorts. What is written below is what I'd call bad writing - it still gives you all the basic details but it lacks any kind of spark. What you write is excellent, so don't underestimate your own abilities.

Ahead is a kind of opening in the trees. A corpse is lying there, twitching, and animals are watching. We also look at the body, and see animals running all over it.
As we look the body begins spinning, and it begins to rise, blades popping out of its limbs.
Also, I'm still looking forward to how this whole thing turns out; it's been a throughly good read from start to finish (in fact it reminds me somewhat of the DM of the Rings play-by-play transcript).