Current earworm: Everybody want to go to heaven but nobody wanna go now

"From the finest lumber our mills can supply!"
Aranoid Hinkel, dictator of Tomania, responding to complaints about sawdust in the bread (The Great Dictator).


General Charles Napier wrote:
"You say that it is your custom to burn widows. Very well. We also have a custom: when men burn a woman alive, we tie a rope around their necks and we hang them. Build your funeral pyre; beside it, my carpenters will build a gallows. You may follow your custom. And then we will follow ours."

Be thankful that you have a life, and forsake your vain and presumptuous desire for a second one.--Richard Dawkins


The fires of war burn brightly from star to star. Everywhere the fortresses of Man are steeped in blood and ancient enemies appear from the darkness. Sensing weakness they gather for the kill. They know as we know that night approaches and all mortal life shall be extinguished. We know, as they cannot, that there shall be a new dawn and a new day when we will rise and they will be driven into darkness forever.
-Imperius Dominatus


The writer is the engineer of the human soul - Joseph Stalin

"Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos.
Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair."
-The Joker, The Dark Knight


"... alas, too many people think consistency the hobgoblin of little minds." -Publius
"The price of victory is eternal boredom." -Aquatain
"Yes I know that. What do you think I am, stupid?" -OmegaGuy, challenging Dalton

"Faith - that's another word for ignorance, isn't it?"
-House


"We didn't have nukes in 1864, so we sent in W.T. Sherman."
-Shep

You kinda look like Jesus. With a lightsaber.- Peregrin Toker on Captain Cheebacca


Out Of Context Theatre: Illuminatus Primus
'But I'm a stupid nineteen-year-old college student. Don't listen to me.'


"Love is knowing your target, putting it in your targeting reticule, and together, achieve a singular purpose against statistically long odds." - Love from an assasin droids' point of view.

Who Will be Eaten First?


"I am General Grevious, and I am NOT a sock puppet!"

What a vivid imagination my brother has. At age five, he was able to deduce, through careful observation of the neighbours, that babies were brought not by the stork but rather by the midwife. In her satchel.
—Mycroft Holmes The Private Life Of Sherlock Holmes (1970)

People pray so that God won't crush them like bugs.
—Dr. Gregory House

Oil an emergency?! It's about time the leaders of this planet of yours realised that to remain dependent upon a mineral slime simply doesn't make sense.
—The Doctor "Terror Of The Zygons" (1975)

Soon Nils Olav's plans for penguin dominance of Norway will be complete, after Harald V announces that Nils is in fact the heir to the throne.
- Ford Perfect on the knighthood of Nils Olav

And I imagine burglaries would result in a lot more fatalities.
'Smithers, release the bears.'

"If a radioactive fly farts, I can pick it up," said Detective David Kao, a boat pilot and a member of the NYPD's Counterterrorism Bureau.

"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC

"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness

"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.

There is Grandeur in the View of Life; it fills me with a Deep Wonder, and Intense Cynicism.

Meat is Murder. Tasty, succulent murder.
America, take note: Those who make peaceful change impossible make violent revolution inevitable. -- John F. Kennedy.

Ace of Spades wrote:
He was booked on three charges: Driving While Awesome, Carrying a Lethal Awesome without License, and Possession of Awesome with Intent to Distribute.


A man should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently and die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
- Robert Heinlein

"I would say that the above post is off-topic, except that I'm not sure what the topic of this thread is, and I don't think anybody else is sure either."
ーDarth Wong

ABCNews wrote:
“You know, a few days ago, Sen. Obama said he challenged me to a duel," McCain said. “I’m for the light sabers as weapons of choice.”

Some of those names are so stupid that the appropriate punishment is to not only reject the name, but also to have the parents beaten for selecting it in the first place.

AVATAR: "In your DREAMS, BlackMage!" by AV Credit

A gentleman without witty repartee is both naked and unarmed -- Imperial Overlord gives me too many good quotes.

"Wall-E is the most harmless Outside-Context-Problem ever." - Nitram, walking out of the theatre.

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.


"War.... it's faaaaaantastic!" <--- Hot Shots:Part Duex
"Psychos don't explode when sunlight hits them, I don't care how ****ing crazy they are!"~ Seth from Dusk Till Dawn

-Are you an IDIOT? What do you think the market is for Aircraft Carriers to purchasers who aren't governments? - Captain Chewbacca

I shave with Occam's Razor.

Four subjects were horribly broken and twisted when they engaged the Morph Ball prototype. Science Team wisely decided to move on afterward. —Space Pirate report

"Yup, because when we make a landing beacon for an airport or such, the first thing we do is dump 5 million tonnes of rock on the runway." - wjs7744 (talking about the Egyptian pyramids as alien landing sites)

Oh, and by the way - Brazil thinks you're cute.

"This is just a fun way for me to say, `Hey boys, I'm still here,'" Rhett Davis said. "This is my redneck Stonehenge."

I would like to present this man with today's award for the most awesome person in the world. - Feil on Rhett Davis

I think all right-thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired.

"In the end that's all we have: our memories - electrochemical impulses stored in eight pounds of tissue the consistency of cold porridge. In the end they define our lives." - Remembrance of the Daleks

Phil Ken Sebben: Birdman, this is Dvd, our new efficiency expert.
Harvey Birdman: Interesting name. Norweg...?
Dvd: Was "David". I eliminated the vowels to save time.
Phil Ken Sebben: Brllnt!
"Believe in the ball and throw yourself." Mr. T


If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

-George Carlin (1937-2008)


"Do not presume to demand my respect, boy. I grew up before the Self-Esteem Generation, and in my day, respect was something you EARNED, not something you demanded. What have you done to earn anyone's respect? "
-Darth Wong to a childish creationist

"More dangerous than ignorance is the illusion of knowledge." -Francis Bacon