Apocalypse Northwest

[Malconstant]

Kurt McDeadFace: (What's the time?) It's time to get Ill!


Thinking back on his days as a computer programmer, Kurt tries to connect the dots as to how his life choices led him to this moment, with a mutant alien plant monster lying slain at his feet, and a chemical moving quite a bit faster than ebola about to rip his body apart. Maybe if I had studied harder... he thinks to himself as a go-to guilt gut reaction, knowing full well there's no cause and effect between these two.

Then he considers the last program he wrote. How the universe cannot be rational. How all of his adolescent nihilistic fears were true, and they came together to form a reality Cthulu could only serve to clarify.

While thinking all this, Kurt reaches into the briefcase, carefully handles the syringe, gently inserts it into the bottle, fills it up a quarter of the contents, holds it upright, squirts a little off the top to close any air bubbles, and as his stream of consciousness fast forwards back into an intense realization of the present, he lunges the needle towards his heart, pushing the contents in.

Regardless of the chemical reaction, the psychological impact alone sends Kurt to the ground. Fetal position, a must.