Coidzor - 21 days and then you're a free agent. It gives both parties a FAIR chance to express any feelings they need to. Anything longer than that, and well... sorry. Missed your chance. Suck it up. And if you meet someone special in this time, then they will understand that you still need time n space to sort your own head out and wait. If they arn't willing to wait - they arn't worth losing sleep over

of course the question of "how long to wait before getting into your next relationship" is a totally different bucket of syrup - thats one you'll have to ask yourself and be brutally honest about. Even if you like someone, if you don't feel ready, then you're not ready. Its not something that can be rushed. Just stick to dating for a while.

and yeah - that girl that dumped on you still owes you a massive appology. I'd steer WELL clear of her for a while. And no - simply saying "bad things happened, im a **** up, took it out on you, sorry" - doesn't constitute a full appology on this one. I can only begin to imagine how much what she said hurt. Cut her some slack by all means given the situation... but still...

Keinnicht - try looking at this from a different angle. MAYBE what she said was she true: shes not looking for a relationship. So how would that play out re: her "significant" other. He may not be that significant. Maybe they've been dating a while, but its not a big thing? Such arrangements are entirely possible, depending on where two people are emotionally.

In all fairness - if she was interested, she wouldn't try to put you off (an excuss that is innacurate by ommission is still an excuse), so its probably not best to try and read into it too much to try and convince yourself you may have a chance.

If you really are desperate for answers (as i know some people don't like living with uncertainty) then by all means ask her some straight questions. Just don't go into it with any expectations that everything she tells you will be something you want to hear.