Quote Originally Posted by Onyavar View Post
The least contradictory in my opinion: Snarl offspring (so rooting for!!) and Tarrasque.

Dragon, Goo, Pit Fiend, Earth Elemental, ... they all oppose too many of the above points.
It cant be a Tarrasque.

http://www.d20srd.org/srd/monsters/tarrasque.htm

The tarrasque cannot speak.

Spoiler
Show
I'm leaning more toward Snarl, or Snarl offspring myself.